A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Guys, I need help.How do I get a married man to stop stringing me along? He is using the push-pull method on me. We are friends. But he is really hot and then cold to me. He pays attention and then pulls it away. He talks to me and then ignores me and talks to other people. He gets mad if I ignore him and comes to try and get my attention back. Games all around. We are both married, me not happily and obviously he needs my attention so he is missing something in his marriage. But the games continue. I am sick of them. Not sure what he wants from me. Any idea? How can I handle him? We are both really attracted to each other but it is getting harder on me with the game playing. We talk about intimate subjects and we have each other's contact info/email etc. I think we have already crossed the line emotionally but why all the games on his part? I am in pretty deep and the up's and down's have been really rough on me. Why is he doing this to me? What should I do about it? I find it really hard to break free of him. I have tried and have failed because he keeps reeling me back in.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2011): I agree with what some of the others are saying. You can stop him from playing his games by not playing along with him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2011): Ignore him. Ignore him. Ignore him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2011): Wanna win this game??? IGNORE HIM. That way you have taken all the control and manipulation out of his hands. Because, I can assure you, coming from a guy, if this man REALLY cared about you, he would not be playing with your emotions this way.
Is your husband a good guy? Does he treat you right? You might want to work on that. It would be a pretty stupid move to throw him away for some guy that is just getting his jollies at your expense. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it's the truth.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2011): He is obviously attracted to you or he wouldn't be playing these games. But he wants to have his cake and eat it, too. Having the comfort and security of a wife at home and the excitement of a woman he fancies on the side. Have you both been married long? Sometimes after many years of being with the same person, boredom sets in, the flame is on low and someone else comes along who really lights your fire and there is a crazy spark you can't extinguish. It is really hard to let that go. Men like to keep you holding on just in case things don't work out with the wife or maybe he might have a chance to sleep with you. He seems really possessive of you and vice versa even though you are not with each other.
Either you talk to each other about your feelings and get the truth on the table or you are going to have to walk away. How long can this realistically go on without it getting even harder? He is going to have to step up or step out of the picture, don't you think?
Maybe ignoring him will show him what he could be missing and force his hand? Or it could work the other way and he could keep on walking. But at least you will know and the games will end.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2011): The best way to make it stop is to completely ignore him. He is playing games with you and probably a few others too because it is an ego trip for him. If he was a sensible guy and really liked you, he wouldn't be doing this. He is wasting your time. Concentrate on your marriage, either repairing it or leaving. At least then you would be free to pursue a proper relationship with someone.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2011): He behaves like this cos he can, you let him and he knows he has the power to play with your emotions.
He sounds arrogant.....Hes just after the thrills, as you are - probably wouldnt even leave his wife, you'd just be a plaything for years, thats if he ever did sleep with you
Your both married, focus on your husband and tell this man to go play his stupid games with somebody else
If your marriage doesn't work, then tell your husband its over, treat him with respect, let him go.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2011): He is playing games with you because you're playing along by his rules and making it work for him.
If you want him to stop playing games, then you need to stop responding to him when he seeks your attention or gets mad at you, and stop chasing after him when he pulls back.
Although if you're both married, obviously this relationship can't go anywhere, so what exactly are you hoping for??
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