A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi i've been dating a married man for 6 weeks sat, he says he sleeps in a diffferent bedroom and he only stays at his house for his son and because he pays the mortgage, he says he loves me and cant give me a 100 percent as he has his 12 year old son, he hasnt told him about us, i only see him mostly during the day for sex and the occasional sat evening for sex he has stayed for 2 nights since we met but lately finds reasons not to stay, i love him and dont know whether he telling me the truth please help?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): You're probably just a f*ck buddy.
He's probably still sleeping with his wife. We're not talking about a strang woman here, we're talking about a woman that he went to the altar with and had children with and lived a bunch of years with. Even if they've got problems I doubt they're separate-bedding it if they're still in the same house.
Do you even have anything concrete to say that he IS having trouble with his wife? How do you know he's not just totally telling you total bullsh*t while he goes behind his loving wife's back?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): So sorry, but I've been there done that. It only causes heartache...for you.
Do yourself a favor and get out before you have infested too much of youself and end up getting hurt.
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A
female
reader, rebekkah +, writes (9 May 2007):
 the thought of hurting and leaving your children and wife is extremely difficult and gut wrenching and the pursuit of happiness is never easy i myself an seeing a maiired man who has two young children of which are one of the only reason he has not yet left his wife, this does not mean his feelings for you arn't real. ok the situation is not great and many people may not agree with the situation that you are in, but its all about taking the gamble and pursuing it. if it doesnt turn out how you want, then it is no different to getting over any other relationship. you have to see his partner as his safety net, if he takes the risk in falling and it goes wrong he knows that net will stop him before he hits the ground, where as with you it could all end very painfully, i say go for it and good luck, life's to short.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (17 April 2007):
 I would doubt he is telling you the truth darling. Do yourself a favour and get out of this now. I recon he is full of sh**. And dont be a part of his stupid games. There will be another for you dont worry.
XX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): honestly, I do think he could be still in the same bed and possiblly still having sex, as my hubby tells me he wants to leave me for his ex, but yet we have been having sex even more and it's so much more passionate! It feels like when we first met, that nervous, naughty feeling. You should try and find a single man, who don't have a hot woman at his bed!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): I agree, agree, agree, agree. Reading your posting sounds EXACTLY like a situation I found myself in...it is just crazy, he said almost the same words!! I did a little investigating because nothing he said seemed to make sense, he had no children with his wife but apparently she 'would be very vindictive with the finances' if she found out he had started seeing someone else so soon...etc etc and that they hadn't had sex in 1.5 years..SO I fell hook line and sinker, funnily enough for a woman with a law degree! Intelligent women like us can sometimes be very stupid emotionally. Stop answering his calls. Tell him not to call you until he is divorced. If you are persistent and don't cave in then...he will leave you alone and find someone else to con. Be strong.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): I agree, agree, agree, agree. Reading your posting sounds EXACTLY like a situation I found myself in...it is just crazy, he said almost the same words!! I did a little investigating because nothing he said seemed to make sense, he had no children with his wife but apparently she 'would be very vindictive with the finances' if she found out he had started seeing someone else so soon...etc etc and that they hadn't had sex in 1.5 years..SO I fell hook line and sinker, funnily enough for a woman with a law degree! Intelligent women like us can sometimes be very stupid emotionally. Stop answering his calls. Tell him not to call you until he is divorced. If you are persistent and don't cave in then...he will leave you alone and find someone else to con. Be strong.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): i'm understand what u r going thru, and i sympathize... but i still feel that u shud have never have had an affair with a married man...HE'S MARRIED FOR HEAVENS SAKE!!!
maybe its fun for u and the guy but what about his wife and son?? its because of women like u that once happily married families are splitting up!!! stop encouraging idiots like him...
how would u feel if a new woman walked into ur life and stole ur husband [and ur son]???
please radically change ur taste in men..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): He's full of crap. Here's the bottom line and I couldn't be more honest with you, dear. He's using you for the sex, and the ego-boost, he may not be getting at home. It's that simple. Further, he doesn't have enough class to do the right thing by you by getting a divorce, first. Instead, he simply lives a big, fat lie so he can see you occasionally for a hop in the sack. He is a liar and a cheat and he's only interested in you for what you're giving him. Here's another fact. Love for you, would compel him to leave his family....plain and simple. But he's not prepared to do that, is he? He told you that. So he doesn't love you, does he? If he did, he'd be rushing straight to a divorce attorney so that he could have you in his life, entirely. Right now, he doesn't need to to do that...because he's not in love with you.
And if he ever did divorce his wife, then you'd be stuck with a man who lies and cheats. Only thing-he'll be doing it to you with the next hot chick that catches his fancy-and then this will then be your problem, your pain and your heartache.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): You know I was in a relations hip with my baby daddy for 12 years then at work I met this guy. He was so sweet to me and called me all the time while we where at work. Then when it was time to go home I would not hear from him. On his b-day he kissed me and it was the sweatest kiss that I had ever gotten in a long time. He made me week in my knees. So guess what we started an affair, I knew he had a woman at home with three kids, he knew I had a man at home with one child. that did not stopped us. when we were together it was like wow the world would come to a stop and we would enjoy each other. the sex was great. Then he started having problems at home because she was checking his cell bill. But that did not stop us from seeing each other. We fell in love in 6 months he started telling me he was sleeping in seperate rooms and that he was only with her because of his kids, that once he met me that he had no kind of relationship with her. No sex no nothing, so i believed hi, then my man and I split up, so then 2 months latter she found out what was really going on because I got pregnant from this dude. So she kicked him out, so he came to live with me. Guess what it only lasted 1 month because I lost my baby, he was not supported at all about my lost. So he went back to his family, he started looking for me with in 2 weeks so then we got back together because he told me he loved me and that he only went back because of his kids, I took him back because I was in love with this man. Then we only lived together for 1 month guess again yeap he left me again to go back to his family. His excuse was that his kids needed him there because they were getting out of control and she needed his help. Not there because he felt anything, so she took him back like nothing. So he tried talking to me again, I did see him a couple of times sex wonderfull, but once we completed our 1 year together he called me to tell me happy anniversary I woke up and told him. Daddy I love you so much but I can not be paying these games, either you love me and we can make a life together or you choose your family and that is what you have done. So today 1 year I end everything. It hurts but we can not see each other anymore, he was like ok it is your decision. It has been 1 week and I have not heard from him. Girl these married men are all about just sex with another woman. Take it from some one that lived it. He will always go back to his family even though he tells you he loves you. It is recent so if you don't want to get hurt, let it go there is someone out there that is single for you. It might take some time to find. but will get there and you will be amazed of what you have done by letting go of that married man. Married men only like to sweet talk us and tells us pretty things that we want to hear so that they can take us to the bed and once they get tired thay will walk because the woman that they have a t home will always take them back no matter what. I was a victim so don't be one yourself. Good luck and I hope that you make the right decision before it is too late and he hurts your heart. Once it is hurt it will be hard to move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): Most married men continuosly lie just to get in your pants. Please do not let this man do this to you. After he tells you that he's changed his mind and wants to make his marriage work, you will feel used and angry and heartbroken. Do yourself a favor get out now, as fast as you can.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): They are so right, be there, done that and fell in love. Left me with a heartache, I'm still not over. Don't put yourself thur it, it's not worth the pain and heartache.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (12 April 2007):
 If you really believe what this man is telling you, ask him to set up a lunch date between the four of you so that you can properly introduce yourself. I'm sure how he handles this request will be very enlightening for you. He will probably squirm first, then lie, and then you will have your answer. He is not being truthful. All married men are misunderstood and their wives don't try to understand them or their needs. It's a very old and often repeated story. All married men are separated and waiting for a divorce too. It's a good policy to tell anyone that wants to be involved with you to give you a call AFTER the divorce is final. No exceptions. In the long run it will save you (and a few other people) a lot of heartache.
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (12 April 2007):
 Your going down a road where alot of people can get hurt, including yourself.
Cut yourself the heartache and get rid of him.
Whether he is lying or not, he is married with a kid and his priorities will lie with his family. Dont let him take you for a ride and leave him now..
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (12 April 2007):
 You are this man's "bit on the side" and nothing more. He's telling you what you want to hear. HE IS USING YOU big time! What will happen is this... you will fall for him big time and start asking him to leave her if he really loves you, he'll come up with some wonderful excuses and you'll end up hurt to the core. Save yourself the hurt and have some pride in yourself. The sooner you end this the sooner you can move on and find someone who WILL want to be with you and only you and treat you in the way you so richly deserve.
Eve
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (12 April 2007):
 Honey, if you'll fall for that line I've got some prime swamp land ... I mean waterfront property ... in Florida I want to talk about selling you.
You're being had.
The guy will tell you he loves you just as long as he's getting into bed with you. Then he'll go home safe to his wife and family and forget about it until the next time he needs a good bang, when he'll be back "loving" you again. And that will never change. He's never going to leave his family and come live with you. He's never going to marry you. He will almost certainly never even tell them about you. You're just the girl he has sex with whenever it's convenient for him to do it.
Kick him the hell out of your bed and out of your life and find a nice SINGLE guy who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
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