A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in such a bind, it has gotten me pretty depressed. I have an amazing boyfriend who thinks the world of me, and I wanted him as well since the first time I laid eyes on him. My wish came true, he became mine, and we get along amazingly. One of the best I've ever had hands down. BUT, here's the issue.. He loves Texas (where we live), and I love New York and dream of going back. (literally). I've had back to back dreams the last two nights of going back to NY. I absolutely love it, and don't really care for Texas. He would never go. I'm so torn. He's the man if my dreams, just not in the place of my dreams. If in my position, what would you guys do? I'm willing to sacrifice my wants of moving back. But how do I overcome the feeling off loss that's coming with it? I really need help :(
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 November 2014):
 My husband gave up his apartment of ten years, all his friends and his job and moved to be with me in the horrible state we are in. I appreciate this from him more than you can imagine. Had he not wanted to move we would not be together as we are.
You can visit NY regularly. go for long weekends... take the boyfriend with you... show him why you love NY.
compromise on Texas and live in a city that feeds the NYC need.
have you told him how much you miss NY.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (5 November 2014):
Okay...Lets look at your sacrifice and feeling of loss...
Does New York have..."My wish came true, he became mine, and we get along amazingly. One of the best I've ever had hands down."
Maybe it has..."the man of my dreams"
Or you could find this..."I wanted him as well since the first time I laid eyes on him."
If what you have is real...then do not sacrifice love for a place. Places are easy to find and live, Real love is hard to find, and even harder to keep.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2014): I followed my husband to a foreign country. I was completely uprooted. I had to learn a new (and difficult) language from scratch. I didn't know anybody. I felt isolated. I really wanted to be with him, but I felt miserable all the time. Overtime, he became miserable as well. We used to fight over money. Everything became an issue. It took us 6 years to improve our situation. My point is, you need to be able to be constructive together. Work on your problems and not shove them under the carpet. If Texas is a problem for you, he must know that. Maybe together you could find a solution. Whatever you do, don't let him think that there's no problem. I'm not saying he's pressuring you to do so, but we all like to have as few problems as possible. He must be there for you.On the other hand, Texas is not NY... How long have you been there? Do you really have a life there (friends, job...)? Sometimes we can live someplace without actually living there - my case. I had no job, no friends, nothing that would connect me to the place where I lived.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2014): Wherever my man is where I want to be.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (4 November 2014):
 I moved from Florida to Boston to be with my guy. I grew up in the cold, hated the cold and Florida was where I wanted to be. I lived there for years, and loved every minute of it. I loved my guy though and he couldn't move because of a very good job, so I moved. I hated the cold...loved him. I grew to really like Boston and we went to Florida on vacations. I guess it all depends on how much and if you want to sacrifice???
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