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He'll only communicate with me via the dating site

Tagged as: Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 November 2016) 10 Answers - (Newest, 4 November 2016)
A female United States age , *hippy221 writes:

Help, I have been messaging a guy for 4 months on a dating site. We seem to have alot in common and message for hours maybe 2 times a week. But we have never met and i have never heard his voice. He wont share his phone number with me or txt my phone number. He only contacts me thru dating site. Will he ever meet me? What is his game?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (4 November 2016):

Honeypie agony auntIt's not a bad thing that you ASKED for that and that he logged off, AT LEAST now you know NOT to waste any more time on this one.

Better luck next time!

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A female reader, Chippy221 United States +, writes (4 November 2016):

Chippy221 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well guys, thanks for the suggestions, sadly I stated my concerns and ask him to call or meet me. He logged off...guess thats my answer. Now what? 2mra afternoon I am going away for weekend. If I dont hear anything positive by 5pm. I will block him and try to forget. Thank you so much for opening my eyes.

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A female reader, Soup1129 United States +, writes (3 November 2016):

He's a catfish or married/in a relationship. Could be just for ego also. I'd cut him off if he doesn't want to talk on the phone or video chat.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (3 November 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntCatfish or ego.

My boyfriend and I were 19 and 20, limited income, 100+ miles between us and we met within 2 months. We also spoke over text and phone calls within 1 month, then video chatted a few times before meeting.

If this guy liked you, he'd show it, but he isn't. I wouldn't suggest you keep wasting your time.

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A female reader, RubyBirtle United Kingdom +, writes (3 November 2016):

Do you pay membership for this website? Sometimes I think that some websites catfish people themselves to keep people paying to use the site.

Otherwise, as the other aunties are saying, he's not genuine. He's either not who he claims to be or simply not looking for a relationship.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (3 November 2016):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI doubt he's going to meet you... he's a time waster. LET HIM GO.

Meeting online should lead to meeting in person within a few weeks if local and within a few months if LDR.

Phone calls should begin almost immediately and email and texts as well.

I agree he's probably taken and plays with you online for entertainment and an ego stroke.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (3 November 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI agree 4 months and no plans for meeting up and no phone calls? He is NOT single and/or NOT serious. OR he is a catfish.

I think it's generally a good idea to talk a while before giving out personal details, phone number and to meet up - but the whole point of a dating site IS to MEET someone, not gain a pen=pal.

Move on to someone who ACTUALLY wants to meet you, talk to you, get to know you.

If he HAS given any details you could snoop, but it's probably a waste of time.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom +, writes (3 November 2016):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntHe's definitely "otherwise engaged" when he is not messaging you.

Or he is someone you know who is playing with you and won't let you have his number or hear his voice for fear you will recognise him (or her even!)

Thank him for his time, say it's been nice, but this is going nowhere and you feel it is time to call it a day and move on.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2016):

It's not likely he will want to meet you. He is probably married or has a girlfriend. He just enjoys the attention.

Move on to the next fella, Aunty BimBim is correct. He's somebody's guy.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (3 November 2016):

Aunty BimBim agony auntAfter four months it is obvious he is playing with you, and his reluctance to share phone numbers strongly suggests he is either married or in a long term relationship.

Your choice now is to decide if you are willing to play this game for ever and ever or to just cut him loose, and start looking for a guy who wants the same as you.

This fish is already taken.

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