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female
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*ngelbbabe7490
writes: I have two best friends that are not necessarily friends with each other. One of the girls was my aquaintance for the past 4 years and has now become very close with me. I go to her for advice and she comes to me with her problems. We can count on each other and rely on each other. I tell her ALMOST everything. The other friend I have been very close with throughout highschool but we sometimes seem to drift apart. She goes away to school and I commute.THE PROBLEM:: Friend number one I met through her boyfriend. I have also been friends with him for quite some time. They have been dating for the past 4 years on and off. They have both cheated on each other and I feel like they love each other but are afraid to be without each other. After and argument the boyfriend CHEATED on my bestfriend with my OTHER best friend. I have been holding this in for the past 8 month now. I has been eating me alive and has become such a burden to me because there are so many times when I want to blurt out the truth.This couple are still dating and fighting constantly. She found out he cheated on her with some other girl over the summer. However, she gave him yet another chance. This is the second time that she is aware of his cheating but I know of a third time.I love both of these girls and I do not want to be a snitch..however I want to do the right thing. I am upset that she keeps giving him chances because he treats her like an object more than a person. These chances should be given out to a person who actually deserves one! Should i just let nature take its course or should I put my foot down and tell her what I know?
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female
reader, angelbbabe7490 +, writes (29 October 2009):
angelbbabe7490 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I appreciate you answers. I will continue to stay out of it but it really sucks to be in this situation. Im always trying to please everyone so the chances are I was not going to tell her anyways. It just kills me to see her upset with him and I know that if she finds out that will just add to it all. He is very cocky about the whole ordeal and has told me that she will never find out. He will hold it in forever and they will continue their crappy relationship and I will just sit on the sidelines waiting to see what will happen next.
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (28 October 2009):
 I think you should mind your own business, as hard as that may be.
We are talking about a one-time “cheat” eight months ago and not an on-going affair, I presume. That doesn’t make it ok or forgivable, but it helps to dictate to me what I would do.
She has given him two chances and WILL give him a third upon finding out the truth.
If you force him to tell her, or tell her yourself, you will be on the outs with all three of them, and she will still be giving him chances.
If anything, you could let Friend #2 from high school and Boyfriend who is your friend a heads up that you feel uncomfortable keeping this secret, but that is ALL I would do. I would not give anyone an ultimatum. You HAVE been keeping this secret for eight months. Your Friend #1 isn’t going to appreciate hearing you kept this secret for so long.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): Hello, I think you should tell the boyfriend...the one who is your friend...that he has to tell his girlfriend he cheated or you will tell her. It is better if the truth comes from him and you perhaps can stay out of the middle but let him know you will tell her if he does not. Pretty soon the truth will come out anyway so you don't want to be holding on to a secret and for your friend to get upset with you for hiding it. All the best to you and your friends.
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