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female
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*elp23
writes: I have just started seeing someone who seems perfect in every way... until we had sex, which was just awful and so disappointing. He spent a long time giving me oral, which was very nice, and very considerate but left me begging for penetration... which was over before it started with the added bonus of hysterical laughter when he came. I thought it might be a one off but we tried again a bit later and just the same. We again had sex in the morning which I usually love but this was about 30 seconds (although no laughter thankfully!). I really like this guy but can't cope with bad sex. What can I do about it without hurting his feelings? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (13 January 2006):
 It seems that he's aware of his problem, as he spent a long time giving you oral sex and was hesitant to initiate penetration. It is probably an area of insecurity for him, and a sensitive topic, to say the least! I'd be willing to bet that the fits of laughter were due to nerves. He was probably so worried thinking about how you'd respond to the short-lived sex that he took to laughing nervously.
You're going to have to bring this up somehow, in the most sensitive, considerate manner possible. Perhaps a doctor could help him with this problem, or he could consult books and articles for some self-help with the problem, as the first responder suggested.
If you really like him, then try to stick it out. I'm sure that this can be overcome somehow, and he needs your support in the meanwhile.
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