| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Im new to the dating scene I guess, always been in a relationship. Right now, I'm dating one guy but to him it's okay for him to date other women. I'm not really comfortable with that. I'm sort of selfish when it comes to men I dont like to share especially when we are intimate. I feel if I date other men its sort of like leading them on. I dont want to get to attached to this one guy since he's obvious dating other women. Not sure what to do. I would like to get over this hump. Can anyone help. Thanks Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): Oh you poor thing, I was in the same situation. I met a guy on an internet site. Never again - he was great at first but I noticed 1 1/2 months in he was still online and checking his email each week. One night I asked him what he thought of me & if we were just Shag buddies or did he want a relationship - he never got back to me. It took a fake profile (bad I know but I needed to protect my emotions) to find out what he was really up to. It was hard reading it I can tell you. 2 months latter I started backing off and then out of the blue he text me and asks if we were in an open relationship because he kinda met someone else. Long story short he said he wanted to continue shagging me but also see others. GUTTED I can tell you.
Naturally I went nuts & of course I was called a player and had a temper.
I believe no relationship has a chance unless you can say no to advances from others and give it a go. There are lots of potentials out there and of course there is going to be spark with more than one person in the honey mood period. Its dangerous.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to say thanks to all of you who had posted advise. Well I decided to stop dating the guy that same week I had posted my question. I'm so glad I ended everything, and feel great about myself.
Thank you all and God Bless.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007): I have the same problem and am really torn on what to do. This guy came on so strong at the start of our relationship, and then when we started having sex, I told him I want to be exclusive. He basically slowed the relationship down. During the last two months, he has called a few times, and we have gone out, but I just found his profile back on the internet, and confronted him. He said, "I just need to date other people". He said, " I still want to hang out with you though, like friends". It kills me to think he is out there with other women, and having sex with them. The rollercoaster ride is heartbreaking. My advice, find someone who wants to be only with you. The trust level is there, and there won't be the lies and games that these players like to play. Good luck to you!
...............................
A
female
reader, stacey.m06  +, writes (16 February 2007):
aw u poor thing. this must be really hard for you. you need to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel. it sounds like this guy doesnt appreciate you or any other woman if he's willing to date several people at the same time.you owe it to yourself to stand up to this guy. it sounds like he hasnt even considered your feelings. i personally think you need to ditch this man. dont let him pressure you into doing something youre not comfortable. dnt loose your dignity hun xx
...............................
A
female
reader, luvme247  +, writes (16 February 2007):
 If he was open enough to tell you that he likes to date multiple people, no matter what you tell him... that is who he is. If you tell him that you are interested but you will only date him when he decides that he will only date you, the chances are that he will lie to you & still date other people, so don't waste your time with him.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): The main thing here is that if you and he are having sex, neither of you should be dating others.
If you are dating and haven't had sex, there is no reason - unless you both have agreed to be exclusive - why either of you shouldn't be free to date others, too, but with the understanding that if you become intimate with one of them, then all bets are off. You would then need to ditch anyone else you were seeing.
In your case, he wants to date other women and have sex with them. If that's what he is doing, you need to tell him a permanent goodbye, now. Don't put up with it!
...............................
A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (15 February 2007):
 If you are not comfortable with it now, this relationship is not right for you.
You will get hurt as you feelings for this guy grow.
It is still painful to let go, but you will be better off letting this guy go now.
Your best bet is to date someone with the same standards as you.
Do not settle for anything less.
Good luck
x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): I would just break it off with him. Personal choice, but I am like you one man. If my man is not a one woman man, well I really cannot deal with that, nor do I want to try.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): So are you saying that you just meet one person and decide then and there if you want to focus all your energy on a committed relationship?
How did you two meet? Online dating? What did your profile verses his profile say?
That is has come up that he is about casual dating with possible causual sexual encounters and you are not wired this way and not wanting this from another...it sounds like you have hit a dead ender.
Does he know you lean more towards the committed, long term, faithful relationship?
Just tell him what you are feeling and expecting.
Best Wishes.
...............................
A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (15 February 2007):
 I don't think this guy is for you. How can you start any sort of relationship with him seeing other woman, thats absurd. Of course you are not comfortable with him dating other woman, who would.
Im sorry but i would ditch this guy and go with someone who wants to be with you and only you.
Good luck x
...............................
|
