A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok here's the deal : i met this boy, about 5 months ago and, in the begining we decided to have a relation ship, after about two months, he was very honest and admitted that he was not fully over his ex who left him for one of his freinds, but he still liked me alot so we decided to take a break. he still calls me everyday, and we still hang out and see eachother from time to time but i still like him "alot" , its like we are best friends now and i am willing to wait but hearing him talk about his ex, and what they used to do and what she used to do for him, well it makes me feel kinda bad, and now i dont kno i kinda have the feelin that now he likes me more as a friend than a girlfriend. shoul i wait on him or should i just be his friend and move on?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007): I was in the same situation. But you have to think about how you feel. If this guy upsets you and make you feel that its not going anywhere, you should just leave. Its not worth hurting yourself for this guy. But also, you can try and mend his heart, and try to not let him think about to much of his past and basically move forward with him. If you keep bringing up the past then eventually he will try to go backwards. Some men needs a little push to move on so, if you care for him that much than stay by his side till he feels he is ready to move on. Other than that if you dont want to do that than just leave. So its really up to you if you want to make that choice. Choose wisely.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007): You are the one helping him to see you more as a friend than as a potential partner. Do not move on without a fight girl. First I wouldn't permit him to talk about his ex anymore. If it makes you feel bad and insecure about yourself try to make him think that she's really not that important. Other women are as important to men as we let them to be. When he starts talking about her just tell him that you don't think she deserves to be talked about anymore and that he needs to move on and think about more important things. If he insists do not reply, don't feed his thoughts about her and try to look uninterested. Hey! Everything is permitted in love and war.
You should also go out with other guys and tell him about how much of a great time you had with them (Just like he did to you) Start not answering his phone calls, etc. The truth is he has becomed attached to you emotionally as a friend so take that to your advantage. When he starts to see how much he misses you he will start to notice all the other good things in you as a woman.
Men are always more attracted to what they CAN'T have (just like his girlfriend) so stop being that available for him. If he doesn't show interest in a reasonable amount of time then you should move on.
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A
male
reader, pavel38  +, writes (10 November 2007):
Assuming this boy is a similar age to you I think he should have moved on from his ex by now, it's unlikely they had been together for years. Personally I think you need to tell him that you can't wait any longer & that he's only going to forget his ex for good by moving on by going out with you. At the moment he holds all the aces, you're waiting for him, so he doesn't worry about losing you, you need to change that - if he genuinely likes you & wants to be with you he'll come running, if he doesn't then you know you're wasting your time so move on & find another guy. Hope it works out.
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A
female
reader, Love*Fool  +, writes (10 November 2007):
 Have you ever considered that his "being honest" with you was a lie? He may have told you that he wasn't over his ex just because he (probably not maliciously) wanted you as a "rebound". The problem could be that he ended up liking you as a person and didn't want to hurt you by breaking it off. This is just a thought to consider. I'm not saying this is what's going on for certain, but from what you've said, it could be a possibility. If that is the case, it doesn't mean your friend is a bad person! It just means he didn't want to hurt you because he really cares about you (as a friend, but maybe not more than that). I wouldn't "wait" for him, regardless. Life is too short to let pass you by! Imagine if you met someone who was totally amazing, but you passed on going out with him because you were waiting for your guy to be over his ex. Ultimately, you should do what feels right for you.
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