A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Because the guy I've been in love with for three months asked out one of my good friends (and they're together now), does that give me the right to be mad at them, and should I feel bad for wishing that they'd break up? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 December 2011):
 You can FEEL whatever you want. Feelings are natural and normal no matter what they are... it's WHAT you do with those feelings that matter.
And what you need to do is nothing. He did not ask her out to hurt your feelings. It's NOT about you... and there is nothing you can do or say.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (11 December 2011):
 You're justified in feeling hurt and disappointed, and it is understandable that you want them to break up (given their ages they probably will before long), but since they did you no wrong you would not be justified in taking your frustration out on them.
Even if he didn't ask your friend out, he would not have asked you either, so you really haven't lost anything. And who knows what will happen? Don't sabotage a chance in the future by behaving badly now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): are you really 'in love' with him or do you just 'like him'? and i don't think you should be mad at your friend. you will get over it. i mean you have every right to be angry with them but if it were me i wouldn't. i would be happy for them...
just sayin' hope everything goes well.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (11 December 2011):
 Oh please, the guy i was in love with for 5 years in school actually went out with a couple of my friends. I didn't hate them, i was happy for them!
I ended up getting together with him towards the end of school anyway, finally plucked up the courage to ask him out. All my friends were made up for me!
There will be other guys, so i wouldn't panic...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): Did your friend know that you loved this guy before this guy asked her out ? . If she did, that's a horrible way for your friend to treat you, and i wouldn't bother with her any more if that's the case. I wouldn't go out with someone that my friend loved, even if had strong feelings for a guy myself. However, if your friend didn't know, then it isn't her fault. Also, does this guy know that you like him?. I'm sorry, but he must find her more attractive. Either that,or maybe he finds you attractive too, but maybe he was shy about asking you out, or maybe he doesn't know how you feel ?.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2011): They did nothing wrong. That boy was not yours to begin with. Say your friend refused to go out with him because of you, he would be unhappy with you. Then two people who really wanted to be together wouldn't, everyone would know why, and he still wouldn't be asking you out.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (10 December 2011):
I'm afraid you don't really have the right to be angry with them. If he fancied her, and she fancied him, they were both single at the time, then no one had the right to stop them or be angry. If you really liked him, then you should have asked him out some time ago.
You don't need to feel bad for wishing they'd break up. But you would feel far better if you didn't and you were able to move on instead.
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A
female
reader, muso888 +, writes (10 December 2011):
Did your friend know? If she did then you might have a reason to be mad at her; or did u say it was ok? U can't be mad at him you don't own him...
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