A
male
age
30-35,
*ay_Jay_4590
writes: I'm a 21 year old guy about to graduate college. I found out my ex cheated on me with another girl and she claims that she was just curious, then she was begging for my forgiveness. I just ended up forgiving her, which was within the week of finding out. Prior to the break up we were together for two and a half years and I've never been happier in my life. This has hurt me so much and I'm unsure if I should move on now because now I'm having doubts if we're even right for each other from after all of this. However at the same time I feel if we can get through of all of this that we'll be stronger than ever. Should I try to work through this difficult time or should I accept the loss and move on?Any advice is appreciated because I feel very lost in this difficult time.Thanks,JJ
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cheated on me, move on, my ex Reply to this Question Share |
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male
reader, Jay_Jay_4590 +, writes (12 December 2011):
Jay_Jay_4590 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice everyone,I really appreciate some different perspectives on this. Jen1689 I couldn't agree with you more. I broke it off completely with her tonight and feel based on what you guys have said will move on without doubting that I made the wrong choice and use as what happened as a learning experience.
-JJ
A
female
reader, Jen1689 +, writes (11 December 2011):
Making out with a girl is no different than making out with a guy. It's being intimate with someone other than the person she promised to be faithful to. You need to decide not whether you're okay with her "experimenting with another girl", but whether you're okay with her cheating on you. Sorry, but that excuse is bullshit. It doesn't matter if she was drunk, or pressured, or "curious", she still hooked up with someone other than her boyfriend. You need to accept for yourself whether or not you accept that behavior. Just keep in mind that if you let her off the hook, it might register with her that that kind of behavior is okay, and she just might do it again. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): I am curious about having sex with beautiful women as a heterosexual but it never stops me from being faithfully to my partner. Sexuality has no bearing on the act of cheating and betrayal, so what if she was curious, does it minimize the act, and if she can do it with a girl, what if next time she's curious about a guy, she's already crossed the line and the trust you two had is already gone. I'd say cut your losses.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): The person below who said she may have been drunk, that is no excuse. Cheating is cheating. Your young, my age in fact, and if that happened to me I'd say bye bye. There's plenty more girls out there who are trustworthy and honest, drunk or not!
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A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (11 December 2011):
She was just experimenting maybe but in my view you also need to do a bit of 'playing the field' before settling down into one -supposedly forever - relationship / marriage.
On reflection she prob did you both a favor.
Tell her you're going looking for more experiences for a couple of years; thank her for the good times; and wish her well.
Maybe you should have a go at bisexuality while you're about it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): i think you should stay with her and try to work everything out..you never know what could have made her to do what he did it could have been a drunk night with friends of simply that she was curious i think everyone has been at one point..atleast for girls..it's obvious you love her try to stay:)
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