A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i was talkin to a guy on the phone last night that i have had a crush on for along while. we used to see each other every day as just friends and we never kissed each other or anything because we where friends. but then he had to move away. i really miss him a lot!! :( and i still like him as more than a friend now he has gone. anyway back to the phone call. i was talkin to him and he asked me if i had my eye on anyone. i said no not really do you. he said well yeh you.. i was gobsmacked and didnt know what to say. so i changed the subject. a bit later my credit siad 60 seconds left so i said ok gtg speak to ya later he said ok love you bye. i just hung up. should i of said it back. i dont know what to do now. he wants me to go stay at his house but what if we go too far. anyone got answers? i am only 14
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female
reader, agony aunt j +, writes (5 April 2007):
 well if you're unsure about how far you want to go, maybe the first time you meet him make it in a more public place. whatever you do dont be pushed into anything and if he even tries to push you into anything, he's not the right guy for you. if however you do decide you're going to, please make sure you use protection.
and as for should you have said you love him back, well sometimes its hard to distinguish betwen love(TRUE LOVE) and infactuation(a big crush). you say you've liked him for a long time, so you would have thought when he said he loved you you would have spoke about it, not changed the subject. but even if you do "love" him it would have been awkward. the task now is for you to think about ur true feelings. do you love him? or have you just liked him for a while but not that deeply? you shouldn't have said anything back if you didnt feel comfortable with it, and them three words are of really special meaning so dont tell him it just because you can. maybe go out with him sometime, etc, just enjoy yourself. i've said this before, and i'll say it to you now..at this age its very unlikely to be true love and you're probably just mixing that crush feeling with that love feeling. it is possible but you need to build up a trustworthy and special relationship, and you're only very young. but personally, i'd say to go for it and have fun..dont get too srious if you dont want to but when you like someone who likes you, why waste it?
hope it turns out ok..hope i could help.
and just remember dont do anything you dont wanna do
:):)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2007): Don't go to his house if you are worried about going too far with him. Meet up with him somewhere which has many people around. As for should you have told him that you love him back if you regret not and the feeling that you have for him really is love (and is more than just a crush) why don't you tell him when you meet up with him?
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A
female
reader, Melanne +, writes (4 April 2007):
 Personally I would not stay at his house if you are worried you will go too far. If you want to do this then use protection and go to speak to your doctor about the right type of protection. Your doctor has to keep everything you tell them confidential.
If you are in any doubt then I would say no don't go to his house. It could be that he knows how much you care about him and he is using this for his benefit. He wants to get you into bed so he is telling you he loves you which he knows you want to hear.
If on the otherhand he is genuine then he should understand that you don't want to go too far with him yet and he will wait untill you are ready. At the age of 14 it is very young to lose your virginity. It is a big thing losing your virginity and you have to be absolutely certain this is what you want. You don't want to get pregnant either so if you do want to go with him then you need to ensure you have the right protection.
You even admit to being only 14 which sounds as though you don't really want to lose your virginity yet. I would go and speak to your GP about this as he will have the right advice. Hope I have helped a little.
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A
female
reader, Alexis0117  +, writes (4 April 2007):
Well i would say congrats are in order for snagging a guy. First of all, if he still lives a good distance from you , 20 or more miles, any type of relationship would be hard to tackle. With the whole love thing. Should you have said it all depends on how you feel. I don't mean to sound condescending, but people in teh beginning of the formal operational stage do not have well developed frontal lobes yet, which is what allows people to understand the vast ideas of love. I am not saying you don't know how or can't. i am just saying that your ideal of love may be a bit off, which plunging into an incorrect idea will lead to disaster. Personally, I don't say the "L" word until like 3-4 months of a serious relationship and I am almost 20. Also, He wants you to come stay at house. If he means overnight, you should say no! What he wants from you is not company, its sex. If you are worried that he will push you to far, there is a 80% chance he will at least try. So, DON'T GO. If he really loves you, he would wait for you. I know it sounds cliche, but it is the truth. Besides, you are only 14, you have your whole life to experiment with boys, but I promise you, if you wait 2-4 more years at least it will be so much better. Just remember take your time, and be certain about everything you do. I have always said that if it is meant to happen there will be NO Doubt !!
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