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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Sorry, I'm sure you get questions like this all the time... Anyway, I'm 18 and I'm "seeing" a guy who is mid 40's, he is divorced and has no kids and I'm going off to uni soon so it'll be goodbyes in a bit, the other day we were laying in bed and he asked me if I had any fantasies, I said yes, teacher student, and he said "what about father daughter" I was so shocked! Should I tell him now that I can't see him the same way, that that was discusting!! How would you react if someone suggested incest themed role play!!Just some additional information - we've been "seeing" each other for about 6 months, we met in a pub, he has no kids, neither do I!, I'm aware that part of the reason we have sex is that it's a bit of an ego boost for him to know he can get me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank for your advice, I can see why you all think what you do but I am going to have to turn it down, however, I'm glad that others have helped me see why it doesn't necesarily make him more sexualy deviant :p
and thanks for not lecturing me on the age differnce, most of you
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): Strikes me as incredibly creepy. And yet I can see the logic in all the other replies pointing out that if you're together six months and both consent and are fine with it, it's your business.
I would imagine 90% of single 40-year-old men would jump for joy to discover that they can pull a pretty 18-year-old who actually wants to have sex with them. Nothing at all wrong there, if you're both up for it.
But 'father/daughter' does ring alarm bells. It's...well, odd. And I don't think I've a narrow mind at all with regard to transgressive/taboo/off-centre sexuality.
'How would you react if someone suggested incest themed role play?'...I would run a mile.
and 'Should I tell him now that I can't see him the same way, that that was discusting'
totally depends on how YOU feel about it.
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female
reader, cnith  +, writes (1 May 2010):
 18 and 40.... wow... What possessed you to do that? Never mind... it's probably a father figure looking type thing you didn't even know you did. But I'm 38 and I hate to say it but most 40 yr old men are tired, boring, and not even close to sexy...well, the ones around here. I'm guessing you have better luck where you are.Putting it in that context I say this, what he said is NOT far fetched or disgusting. You ARE like his daughter. if he had one, she'd be around your age assuming he had kids in his 20's.So tell me...what's so disgusting? That he's into you like that or that you think he's a paedophile at heart? Or that you really think he'd do that with his own kid? (if he had one)People are weird. You have to understand that. What gets someone's rocks off doesn't work for someone else. My case in point. I LOVE gay men porn. Most straights hate it, find it disgusting. I don't like lesbian porn which most straights seem to be OK with...which I think is ridiculous. I'm a visual and auditory person. Those girls are such a turn off with their fake noises and stupid lines. At least men don't say much and they make sexy noises...well, in my opinion. I don't like straight porn much because the girl almost always ruins it for me.So there's your example. I like gay men porn. You probably don't...if you like porn at all. It's fantasy. So unless your guy is an actual paedophile or you think he'd actually do incest, I wouldn't worry about it.Just don't make him feel badly about it, if it's just fantasy. You could just say, well, that's interesting... but I don't think I'd want that, I'm sorry. And then move on. If it makes you feel better, lots of guys have this fantasy, they just don't say it because of girls like you who get all defensive and disgusted.Trust me... college boy next door most likely has had a fantasy of being with his mother or some older chick...the theme is a bit varied but the same idea. It's just fantasy. Although some guys, like the 17 yr old chasing me, actually want to put it to use. Now me, I have some kind of boundaries... and I'm sorry but that's just too young. I would have never dated you if I were your guy, you're too young. I'm not much younger than your guy. I'm just saying...As for ego boost? Maybe... but I see it more as a bit sick from both of your sides. But hey, to each their own. *shrugs* I may be reading too much into it. Y'all just have sex. I'm thinking relationship... sorry.
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reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (1 May 2010):
 I think pretty much the same while it might sound sick to you it is just a fantasy and nothing wrong with that you are not his daughter and I am sure if you was he would not have even suggested it at all So Go ahead step out and enjoy yourself go with it hell Im sure he isnt the first to have that fantasy and he wont be the last.
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reader, UncleDoug +, writes (1 May 2010):
Hi,
Before you castigate your lover for his role play fantasy, you may first consider praising him for revealing to you such an intimate and taboo subject. Obviously, he feels utterly comfortable with you to reveal such a politically and socially charged suggestion. If you want a good sex life, never judge your lover in the bedroom; don't make him feel conscientious about expressing his sexual desires. Additionally, please consider that he is a man and you are a women; different species activate libido in different ways. How exactly will role playing his fantasy change the sexual nature of your relationship? He will probably want you to say something like - "I like it that way Daddy[.]" or some other similar type of comment. Would that really change things so much? Hate to break it to you, but in his mind he has probably already been role playing you as a daughter. Perhaps you can use this opportunity to explore your own deepest hidden sexual fantasies, especially considering that you will be leaving for college in the near future.
Good Luck,
UncleDoug
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reader, baddogbj  +, writes (1 May 2010):
 Honestly it really kind of depends on how he said it. If it came out as if it was a genuine secret desire that he had been mulling over for a long time that is one thing, if he just threw it out there as a somewhat off-colour joke about your age difference then its another. He probably has in the back of his mind "... old enough to be her father" but that doesn't mean that he has an incest thing going on. Big age differences, whilst fun, can be a little confusing.
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