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writes: I have been in love with this girl for so long now, since grade school. Now is the only time that I can say to her my true feelings, but she has a boy friend and now she wants me to forget about her.I've been waiting for her for a very long time now; time really flies too fast. Should I still wait?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): Look man i am in the same shit.On monday im going to tell the girl i lovr how i feel and that i will never give up on her because i love her.And tell her i don't care if i get an ass woopin for her by her boyfriend.You need to beg if you have to man.If you really love someone anuff you would do what ever and don't care what others think.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2006): I can completely symphatise with the writer (who knows, its been a few months - they might even be together! fingers crossed eh?) I too have known this one person for what seems far too long but not long enough. Absolutely crazy. I think a lot of people can profess to having been in love. but on what level? how do you know there isnt an even greater feeling out there for you? i dont know if there is or not, but i do know that ive felt the same way about this one person for as long as can remember. thh space here simply wouldnt do justice to the wave of emotion that she has cast over me. But to basics, 8 months i spend having an "affair" with her, to the point where i left my partner of 4yrs, just to find she wasnt willing to make the same leap of faith. After much soul searching, and at a very low ebb, i met somebody else who quite simply was interested in me full time, not partime. i focused my attention here, and over a yr later i was a proud father. Although i hadnt forgotten about my girl, and how distraught she was when she realised i was trying to move on, i made the upmost effort to forget and live with the cards life had dealt me. I disposed of most possessions i had from 6 yrs of knowing my girl, who had always been my best friend, only stashing away in the loft a few keepsake memories. I never talked to this girl, even though we were best friends for so long, i bit my tongue and got on. Which was made harder by the fact that we still worked for the same company, just different buildings. Obvisouly working for the same company i heard about what was going on in her life, but that was it. She had started dating another collegue, who came on to the picture as i had left it. The came Christmas 2005, and i swear the best present i had that xmas was i got a 5 minute conversation with her in a packed bar. this is ver 3yrs later, and nothing had changed, the eyes smiling back at me said the same things they said back then. i lfet, not intending to change anything. its now June 1st, and despite my attempts not to, we have both now acted on our old feelings. Shes cries, tells me she loves me, wants so much to be with me, has missed me everyday. I feel the same, exact im not being so blatant in telling her this. Theres just one thing missing. Her confidence to make that leap of faith. how can i convince her to follow her heart for a change and not make the same mistake she has already admitted to? She is the only girl who has made cry, and the only firl who has made me smile, on the same level as my adored daughter. shes up there on a pedestal. I absolutely love my littel girl and take solace in her, knowing that whatever i do, she will always love me and be in my life. I intend to do so back regardless of who my partner turns out to be. This is NOT something ive taken lightly. But i guess what i am trying to say is that there is only one out there for us, we need to grasp them with both hands. if you honest try, and still cant forget or live without, then you need to do everything in your power and more to win this girl. Someone suggested Life is long. Its not. We are here upon this earth for a Good time. Not a long time. Mistakes cant be rectified, and no amount of time will heal regrets. Patience is a virtue, but getting who you want now means you have longer to enjoy each other. Go for it, throw everything you have at getting this girl, otherwise you may take the regrets with you to your grave. If you fail, at least you can never question if you could have done more. I intend to win her over. We know each so well i know every button to press but its just that one hurdle. but hurdles do and will get knocked down, intentionally or not. Its definitely worth it if you honestly believe it is.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2006): look mate if you have these feelings use them else where while she has a boyfriend she must be somewhat happy with him then let it go and she'll come to you if you mess with other peoples girlfriends then your not gonna like it very much you may be successfull in getting the girl but expect it will be very difficult for her boyfriend to except it and not give you an ass whoopin and thats to say if you get her what if NO! sorry i don't think its a good idea and im sick of people taking other peoples girlfriends when they are happy enough leave it is what I say but will you???
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2006): first, I think that you have an akward situation on your hands. I understand your feelings for her, but when she has a boyfriend is not a good time to reveal your feeling. What did you intend to accomplish by telling her your feelings when she had a boyfriend? If your hopes were that she would leave her boyfriend for you, that was a mistake. The fact that she remained loyal to her boyfriend speaks well of her character. If she were to leave him because a better offer came along, what is your assurance that she woudl not do the same thing to YOU in the future? You may have placed a major roadblock in your relationship. She may now feel akward and if she tells her current boyfriend, he may have it out for you or at least not want her to hang out with you anymore. While this not necessarily right, I can't really blame him, can you?
secondly, I like to define love as "wanting the best for someone, even if it isn't the best for you." If the guy she is with makes her happy and treats her well, then it would be selfish to want to take that from her. Selfishness is not love. You should be happy for her even if it hurts you. Maybe what is best for her is not you, and if that is the case, you should step aside and allow her to have the best.
Be grateful that she was honest enough with you to tell you there isn't a chance. At least she didn't string you along and I have a feeling that those words weren't meant as a lie, but rather to tell you exactly what she means. There is no hidden message there for you. Take it at face value and move on. If, in the future, you both end up single at the same time, that would be the right time to share your feelings.....and one last piece of advise: Avoid the word "love"....at least for awhile. Love is a serious thing and, if said too early on in a relationship, could scare her away (the exact opposite of your intentions) Instead of sounding caring, you may just come across as creepy, clingy, and obsessive. Wait until she has the same feelings for you before you drop that bomb. This is just advise from my own experience and is in no way written in stone or absolute truth, but it has been learned through 22 years of trial and error, so take it for what it's worth. I'm not a shrink, and I'm not a relationship expert by any means, but I do know from experience what has worked for me and what doesn't.
good luck,
-AW
[email address blocked]
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reader, x Chrissy x +, writes (7 January 2006):
Hey
It is quite tricky to find to right moment to tell a person that you like them, and sometimes girls feel that if a guy takes too long he is not that interested so the best thing to do now is although she has a boyfriend, try to talk to her and make sure that she knows that you still like her and that you are always there for her.
It is never too late and if you are meant to be together then you will always find a way. If you are not then remember that there are always many fish in the sea.
Good Luck.
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reader, StarNews +, writes (7 January 2006):
 I think you waited too long to tell her how you felt. Now that she has a boyfriend, she has told you to forget about her. Though I give you credit for waiting so long, you've waited long enough. My opinion is that you should move on.
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (7 January 2006):
 Under the circumstances, you have two options.
First, you can sit and wait for her, maybe forever. You can not do anything, or go out with anyone, showing her how incredibly devoted to her you are.
The problem with that is that she doesn't seem to care that you're devoted. She's already said that she can't see anything between you right now. She has a boyfriend, and --I'm sorry to remind you, but let's be honest-- it isn't you.
So the downside of waiting for her to see that you're the perfect man for her, is that she mightn't ever come to her senses. In the meantime, there might be girls who'd love you on sight, just waiting for you to show an interest. Even if you don't love them back with the same intensity that you do this girl, you can still date them and learn about relationships and women generally, and have a good time.
Life is long. Things can change. But you can't ever make someone love you, if they're not interested. Right now, Perfect Girl isn't interested.
So consider your second option. Go out and be yourself. Remind yourself that the girl you want is with someone else, and doesn't picture that changing for the foreseeable future. See other girls and try to have fun anyway.
Maybe something will change. Maybe your perfect girl will wake up one morning and realise what she's missing out on and she'll get in touch. If so, GREAT!
Whatever happens, you'll have gone out and tasted a bit more of Life and have a better sense of who you are and what you want out of your future. Then, if she's ready to date you one day, you'll be that much better at being a partner to her.
Think about it.
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