A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have two problems1. My boyfriend of 8 months dumped me shortly after Christmas saying he wasn't too sure he loved me anymore. I thought I was over it, but he's had another lasses name on his msn and it got me really upset. I've taken all the stuff he gave me and put them away in a box under my bed but is there anything else that I can do to help me try to forget about him without bursting into tears whenever he talks to me etc?2. I got the implant in September but since I came on my period in October I haven't properly stopped bleeding and it's rather worrying me but I'm too scared to go to the family planning clinic on my own and I don't want to talk to my dad about it (mother lives 3 hours away). The reallly big problem with my implant is I think that it's given me strech marks. But I don't mean strech marks that are like little white lines, they're pink purple and red depending on how itchy they are. They've spread all over my thighs and they've really naffed up my confidence. Is there any way to make myself feel more comfortable with them or a way to make them look a bit more attractive?Thanks in advance :)
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (13 January 2009):
 I know how it can hurt to loose your mate. It's best that you do keep those things hidden from sight as they will only remind you of him daily. You must remember that it's his right to seek someone new if you aren't together anymore. It is also your right to find someone new also. I think that your feelings are rather normal and you must not let them control you. Take affirmative action to get him off your mind. They say that sometimes out of sight, out of mind helps. Your feelings about the other lass's name on his MSN is quite normal also. It's a bit of jealousy perhaps mixed with a bit of anger, lots of confusion about what happened to make him walk away.
You need to get busy with your own life and don't let him see how bad this is making you feel. Go out with friends and do things that don't include his presence. Have fun and set goals for yourself, this will help you to ward off the depressive and negative thoughts about the breakup. DON'T DWEEL ON HIM HON, FOCUS ON YOU! Get a hobby it wil help you to stay busy. Be kind to him in a friendly manner if you happen to see him but don't overdo the friendliness. Don't call him, don't approch him at any time. He has made a choice that wasn't you and sometimes things just happen.
Don't spend too much time longing for him. Look around you and see all the prospective guys who may want to fill his shoes. It's doesn't mean you have to find one right away, it just means to keep your options open. It takes time for a heart to heal, give it time and you will be able to adjust. SEEK GOD'S WISDOM, FOR HE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE LONGING FOR BUT HIS WILL MAY BE DIFFERENT FOR YOU THAN OF YOUR CHOOSING...ASK HIM TO SEND YOU SOMEONE AND KEEP YOUR EYES AND YOUR HEART OPEN. NO ONE KNOWS WHAT TOMORROW MAY BRING AND THIS YOUNG MAN MAY NOT EVEN BE THRU WITH YOU. THE ANSWER IS ALREADY WRITTEN, WAIT FOR GOD'S ANSWER.
The stretch marks can be helped by certain creams,lotions and oils. Palmers Cocoa Butter cream is really good at helping to sooth and diminish the marks. Merderma is a prescription medical cream that heals scars and stretch marks. Trilastin is a permanent stetch mark remover. Thee ae many others that are good for treatment in diminishing the marks. Weight loss may help, if you have gained a bit of weight it can cause stretching of the skin which can further damage to the elastin. Don't be down on yourself, you would be surprised who has stretch marks. Stretch marks are caused by the strained or damaaging of the elastin (a protein)in the skin which gives it elasticity or flexibility.
The true cause of stretch marks is hormones and changes in the metabolism in our skin. Most of the time they are covered up and you don't see them and sometimes they aren't really so bad that people even notice them. The itching is from the stretching of the skin. The red marks are the newest stretch marks. The purple ones are older and the white to gray ones are the oldest and not as deep. They can also be removed by lazer treatment. Others find that chemical peels and dermabrasion can help to diminish the effects of stretch marks.
I hope this helps and WISHING YOU THE BEST IN YOUR HEARTS HEALING PROCESS. TAKE TIME HON AND GET TO KNOW YOURSELF. YOU ARE WORTHY OF FINDIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TREAT YOU LIKE A PRINCESS. GOD IS WATCHING OVER YOU AND REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE YOU ARE YOU....STRETCH MARKS AND ALL!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
A
female
reader, Fee-Fee +, writes (12 January 2009):
 Break ups are always difficult hon, but the vast majority of us go through it and, as naff as it sounds, it does get better with time.
I'd suggest getting rid of the stuff under your bed for a start!
And don't feel bad about your emotions - cry enough to make the Thames burst its banks if you feel like it, just get it all out! Keeping the tears bottled up will not help you.
Get your backside up and out and do something! Do something you love, spend time with your best friend, get your hair cut/nails done. Walk your dog, ride your bike, go to Alton Towers (just checking you are in the UK ... ) No one is in control of your life and happiness except you :o)
As for the implant, I have just had my second one fitted. First time round, it took around 6 months for my periods to stop completely. The side effects can vary from person to person. If you don't want to go into the clinic, you can always call your GP, or NHS Direct (0845 46 47) http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/ and they'll answer any questions you have.
Finally, stretch marks ... try something like Bio Oil. It's a bit expensive, but you only need a little and it works a treat. Can get it in most Boots stores.
Phew! Sorry this was so long winded! But I hope even a little bit of it helps.
Fee
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