A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok here's the deal I have a gf and I really like her but there's someone else I like even more. In January I really liked this girl (the one who isn't my gf) but she ignored me so I moved on to another person. And after that other Person I moved to my current gf. My gf has been through alot and I don't want to hurt her and thus make her do what she did before she met me. Should I stay with my gf who I like or go for this other girl who I have much stronger feelings for? If I go for the other girl how do I give my gf the bad news? Please help I'm confused Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 May 2011):
 You are confused because you are too young and immature to be dating to begin with.
Typical " kid in the candy store " syndrome.
When my son was 3 or 4, our trips to Toys R Us often would end in tears. I would tell him , OK, you can pick one toy- and he got all stressed out. He knew that if he chose the Power Ranger he had to forsake the Transformer, and if he got the Transformer he could not have the Batmobile, and every object seemed so appealing, and even more so in the moment he'd put it back in its shelf...
But people are not toys, they can get hurt if you are fickle and don't know what you really want. Stay out of relationships a until you are bit more grown up, and able to make up a very precise " wish list " of what you want in a girl, so you can choose without feeling that you are missing out on all the other shiny toys...
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 May 2011):
 It doesn't mean anything at all if you still kinda like another girl. It's not "after all this time", it's just 4 months. That's no time at all. If you had feelings for her for 4 years I would say that maybe it means something.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to clarify I DID like my gf when I got with her but I feel Like it must mean something if this other girl keeps coming up after all this time
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A
female
reader, h0neymilk  +, writes (12 May 2011):
Firstly, I personally think that you are wrong for starting a relationship yet still wanting someone else.
But anyway, you have to be clear that your feelings for the first girl hasn't been intensified just because you couldn't and currently can't have her. What if you break up with your gf and then realise that the other girl wasn't as great as you thought she was? Also, there are other things like that you may not get her and even if you do there may be a possibility of her liking you less than you, her.
If you still decide that you want to leave your gf then you should do it honestly and upright. No games and no blaming her. I'm guessing that she's probably a fragile person so you are worried of the actions she may take if you leave her? From my point of view (since i feel like thats how people treat me), I really think she'd be less hurt if you made sure she knew that there wasn't anything she could do about it and that she, herself is a great person (but don't grease up!)
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A
female
reader, SwEetBUNny  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 Hai im 15. I think you should hold on to the girl you like not the one you got stronger feelings for. It sounds like the girl you realy love doesnt care much about you than the girl you like. What if you tell your gf those bad news then later the girl you got feelings for break your heart and end up losing the both of them? The girl has been through alot already, i dont think dumping her its worthied. Anyway its still up to you.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (12 May 2011):
This is blunt, but I don't think you should be in a relationship at all. You are very indecisive, and playing games with emotions and people. If you like someone else then you should never get into a relationship with another person. It is also low and bad manners to break up with one person just to be with someone else. It is mean to be honest.
If you can't do right by your girlfriend then don't be with anyone at all. Next time you wonder if you should get into a relationship with someone, do it because you actually want THAT person, and not just because of fun or games or something stupid. Do it because you WANT it. Clearly, you never really wanted your current girlfriend. It was bad of you to enter a relationship with her when you were not serious about it.
It's just been 4 months and you've already moved through 3 different girls. You're not ready to be in a relationship, as a relationship means to stick to ONE person, for more than a few weeks.
So here are your options: stick to he girl you have now, or be single for a while. You should never jump from one relationship to another. Think of the people you hurt and be better than this.
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