A
female
age
30-35,
*elissa1525
writes:So I went out with this guy on a date, and go figure one of co-workers and I slept together, before even started talking with the guy I went on the date on.He asked me if I knew him since he had seen we were friends on facebook and I told him the truth. That it was a one-night thing that meant nothing. Do you guys think I did the wrong thing by telling him and will this affect our getting to know each other?P.S. I had to kind of tell him the truth, because I know how guys are, and I knew he would ask him and the jerk would tell him.I didnt know at all that they knew each other, if it had been for that I would have no done it.Thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2013): BTW, you will not be doing yourself any favors by telling your new guy that his coworker was just a one-night-stand and it meant nothing.
If you can have meaningless sex with someone else, then how can your new BF feel he is getting anything special when you sleep with him?
Your BF won't like that you slept with his coworker. But he will probably take it worse if you act like his coworker was just a male body when you wanted one.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 June 2013):
 So, in summary... you put out for one guy.... and another guy who knows the guy you put out for.... you went on a date with him.... and you're concerned that they will compare notes?????? Is that it????
Simple solution: Stay away from either/both of these guys for a while...... let the water settle down.... spend time with OTHER guys.... and don't look back at these two until and unless you feel comfortable with them. HOW will you know you are comfortable? When you look at this submittal, and it doesn't matter what you have for responses from us Aunts and Uncles.....
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (2 June 2013):
It probably would have been a better idea to say it without giving so much info. You don't know guys as well as you think you do: we don't always have to announce that we slept with someone. You also made the mistake of letting him know that you're the one night stand type. That may not be something that he finds desirable in a partner; I know I'd prefer it if my woman didn't have one night stands (less likely to cheat aka make a mistake), although it's not a deal breaker.
"Do you know him?" doesn't mean "Did you sleep with him?" Don't lie, but tell him that you do know him a little. Give him the gist without the details.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 June 2013):
 It might or might not affect your relationship with him, depending on what kind of guy he is. Just because the other guy would tell, doesn't mean this guy would ask. This guy might actually have some class. If he doesn't have class, then why would you be interested in him anyway?
I had a fling with the best friend of my current boyfriend, years back. While he KNOWS we were involved, I have not laid out the extent of our relationship, what we did, whether I felt for him or not etc. Because, it isn't his business. That was between me and him, and not between my new boyfriend, his friend and me. It's not a threesome just because they know each other. So if I were you, I wouldn't have said a thing. Out of respect for all parties involved.I mean you don't like this other guy going around telling people he had a one night-stand with you, so why should YOU go around telling guys that you had a one night-stand with him? This other guy being his friend is irrelevant. Yes, he could have found out if he wanted, but it'd have been more classy of you to respect your own, and his, privacy by saying nothing.
I'm not suggesting you lie, I'm suggesting you remember that this guy you're dating isn't your girlfriend. Just like you wouldn't tell any stranger about the intimate details of whom you've bedded or not, you don't tell a guy you're dating either. You should have simply said: yes, I do know him, although he's more of an acquaintance. And perhaps throw in a "we went on a date once". That way he'd known enough. Whether he desired to snoop and found out more would have been on him. However adults know that it is not appropriate to snoop, and even adult guys know to respect the privacy of the bedroom.
Then, if this guy doesn't have class, and isn't mature, he would snoop and ask his colleague what happened, and if the colleague isn't mature, and doesn't have class, he would have told him. And then perhaps you'd take that as a hint that immature and classless guys aren't the best boyfriend material.
What's done is done, but next time, don't. It's none of his business, and you certainly do not owe it to a guy you're just dating to elaborate your sex life.
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A
female
reader, Queen_mermaid  +, writes (2 June 2013):
Hello Melissa,
No, you did not do any wrong thing by telling him the truth. I think the guy must have like your sincerity. You took a wise decision by telling him that because if you would lie on the first instance then many other lies would have followed and if he came to know about it, then it would ruined everything.
Yours,
Queen Mermaid.
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