A
female
age
41-50,
*runogirl
writes:do i break up with my partner of 3 years and the father to my 6 mth old daughter?b4 the baby was born things were tough he alwsys seems to manage to put me down. Call me stupid and a liar (i am defo not a liar but maybe stupid sometimes, but not that he should criticise. I own my own home have a good job and have used to be a very confident girl. Its not pnd its just nothing seems to be fun anymore. He never wants to do anything wih me, doesnt feed bath or play with the baby. I keep dragging up the past when the baby was only 3 days old she was quite sick so i wanted to take her to the hospital he made out that i had made her sick cos i changed her and didnt clean my hands properly, he also said that socila services would be involved now cos i was neurotic. Its my first baby! I think he was angry because he had to come home from the pub. I was really happy after the baby was born but that was shortlived as he was out pretty much all the time for a month after we brought her home. He sleeps on the couch now most nights as i dont want him waking me when he comes in smelling of the pub. I dont think that i love him but its so hard as i feel guilty about our child and also i dont want his family to think bad of me. Help!
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female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (27 June 2007):
 Stop listening to your man putting you down. You are worth so much more than that!
Not every woman becomes the perfect mum to their first child straight away. It takes time.
i think you need to drop this guy as he is dragging you down and making your life hell when you should be concentrating on looking after your baby and being the best mum you can be.
What did the hospital say about your babies sickness? Was it something you had done??? I doubt it very much. Get this guy away from you so you can do what you need to do for your child. Otherwise he'll keep putting you down until you are too scared to even go near your child!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (20 June 2007):
 Tell him you need for him to go stay with his family for awhile. Once he is out of your house you will be able to really think about where you see this relationship heading. Also if he's with his family and going to the pub every night they will see his true colors.
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A
female
reader, Ask_HanBan +, writes (20 June 2007):
 Get out of that house! thats how abuse starts,
it may not be physical but emotional.
ask him a few questions; has he ever pushed a baby out? has he ever spnt a full day looking after her?
get out of there fast and take ur child with u, if not kik him out, imagine wat effect this would have on ur baby?
keep strong
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A
female
reader, shortybabes +, writes (17 June 2007):
 To be quite honest hunni you can seriously do without this guy in your life. He shouldn't be going to the pub every night, he should be sat at home with his partner and taking as much responsibility for your baby like you do. When your in a relationship you shouldn't have to feel like a single parent like you are feeling right now. If he loves you and your baby then he should atleast go to the pub less often and spend more time with the two of you hunni. Lets face it he ain't even worth your time babe!
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A
female
reader, brunogirl +, writes (17 June 2007):
brunogirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all so much for your time in replying to my message. I am proud of myself, i only have to look at my daughter to remind myself how truley blessed i am. I just wish that he wanted to same out of life as i. I am practically living a separte life, myself once i have put baby down and cleaned up and done bottles i retreat to my bedroom. This is no life i know. But i have to be strong.
Thanks again for your help.
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A
female
reader, jabey +, writes (17 June 2007):
I am sad to hear your story. to keep high self esteem and confidence is extremely hard when you are continuall being put down.
You realise this man fels very inadequate, and to make himself feel better he has to put you down. As you have said you have alot to be proud of.
Each day say to yourself what is great about you, remember all your acheivements in life, your strsngth of character. you have bought a baby into the world and you are loving and caring for her, you have so much to be proud of.
you must work on you, build up yourown strength and esteem, and Im afraid if this man chooses not to change, you most likely will walk. And if you do dont let him take away who you are, never allow anyone to do that to you xxx
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (17 June 2007):
 Oh my god this bloke sounds like an absolute bully and he has completely stripped you of any self esteem, you most certainly do not need to stay with him for the sake of your child as there is no way i would stay with anyone that treats the mother of their child in that way because what sort of signals is this going to give out to the child.
So what if his family think bad of you which if they knew the whole picture they would have no right to anyway, you have your own house and a good job please do not let this bully drag you down you do not need him, instead of thinking about him and his family think about yourself and your child and how much better off you would be without him.
Take care and if you need to talk feel free.xx.
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (17 June 2007):
 It's at time like these hun that you've gotta think about yourself and the respect you deserve. You gotta forget about how other people see you by your actions on this one because it appears to me that this guy you're with is disrespectful to the fact that he is a father and to you. If he was at the pub, why wasn't he at home supportin you and your child? Is he going out and spending the money you need for you and the baby on drinks?
It may be that he was upset about the baby being ill but he shouldn't have put full blame on you when he wasn't even there!
Maybe you should spend time apart from eachother, allow him to see his child but maybe go and stay with your parents or friends for a bit? it sounds a bit like you need a time out from eachother.
Well that's just my personal opinion.
Good luck hun x
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