A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A week and 2 days have passed since I have last communicated with my ex. We were in NC for over 3 weeks and then she initiated contact with me. She wrote me saying that some things have really been bugging her and she's been wondering if I've been thinking about her as much as she's been thinking about me. Well we communicated back and forth through emails and I would always write the next day or several hours later. She then admitted that she missed me incredibly but didn't know if talking will make things more or less painful. I then figured she may have wanted to meet and actually talk so I told her that I missed her too but I think keeping it low has been good for the both of us and that she should get back to me Friday and we'll decide then.Well for the rest of the week she was really impatient and eager to speak with me. I figured she wanted to so Friday we finally did. This is where I believe I messed up. I never came to the decision that I wanted to talk, I told her we will talk about it but I just assumed she really wanted to so I gave in. The conversation was awkward and went on for an hour just asking how we've been doing.It's been a week and 2 days since I last heard from her and this is driving me insane. Why was she showing me so much attention last week and admitting she misses me but then treats me like I don't exist the next week? I haven't said anything to her since but I'm very tempted to ask"Hey I'm sorry if I'm overstepping any boundaries. I was just curious and wondering what your intention was for wanting to talk last week. I know you missed me but I just want to know what you got out of talking with me or what you were hoping to get out of it." Is this the right thing to do? Will it be fine if I send this message? I'm not trying to look desparate but I want to find out what her intention was for wanting to talk so bad and what she got out of it cause I just want to unconfuse myself.If anyone thinks I should alter my message or send a completely different message please let me know. Any advice is appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 May 2010):
 I don't think you got no answers because nobody cares. It's very random here. Some days there are few letters and many volunteers to answer, some days it's the opposite.
I can only tell you why I chose not to answer to your post- because I felt I could not give you an advice that you were willing to follow.
I and other people have advised you recently to,basically,relax and try not to obsess about this situation. Your ex has shown she wants space and perhaps the best thing is ...to give her space.Maybe she is thinking to come back to you,or maybe not. But surely it won't be by grilling her about each of her words or thoughts or actions that you'll win her back faster.
I am sure though that you don't see it this way andof course you should do what feels best for you. Good luck with the letter.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2010): Thank u everyone for not caring. I went ahead and wrote her and will. Receive something back tonight. Maybe I would have changed my mind someone on here were to convince me not to.
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