A
female
age
30-35,
*issIndependent19
writes:Let's just say I met this guy when I was 16 (I am almost 19 now) and he was 18 (now he is 21), we had a really great relationship he was my first serious boyfriend and I lost my virginity to him. After a year he started lying to me and cheating on me( I had evidence he kept denying only admitted to emotional cheating.) so we ended up breaking up. My parents love him and his parents love me. For the next 6 month we were on and off and that kinda of thing. Later he ended up getting arrested for selling drugs (he doesn't do them he just lost his job and was acting stupid.) My mom bailed him out of jail and all the stuff... Long story short my parents bought us a house and he proposed and we ended up moving it together. After we moved in together it was great we were having a great time 3 months into it he became extremely abusive (physically and emotionally) He would come home sometimes until 6 am. I knew he was cheating because he wouldn't let me have access to his phone and all that stuff. 3 months I suffered with him and then I finally broke down to my parents and moved back in with them (just a month ago). (they say I am stupid to let it go that far and it's my fault and they stay somewhat friendly with him). Now how do I get over everything? My parents don't listen, my friends don't understand and I don't know how to deal with it. I go full time to school and to work but I saw him with his new gf at the stop light and let's just say I was crying for an hour. I just need to know how to get over everything and how to deal with it when I am alone and I bump into him with his girlfriend?!
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female
reader, nolanative89 +, writes (8 April 2009):
I can relate to your situation. It can be hard to lose your first love especially someone who was your first. I got over mine when I moved away but it would still hurt to see pictures of him and another girl over the net. Since this may not be possible it may help to just focus your energy on school and work. That helped a lot for me. Anytime I would start to think of him I would start to do some homework or go out with my friends for miniature golf or something.
A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (7 April 2009):
 first of all it is not your fault that he was a jerk. This is the kind of guy that shouldn't let you cry. I know it hurts but lets face it cry for the girl he was with. Its hard to look the other way, i know i have been there. not to that extent but i have. I think that you just need to see it as a window of oppurtunity, move on go out have a good time.Do something that makes you feel good. Make the smile come back to your face. I think your parents are being irrational and not paying attention to the situation at hand vs the situation that they want to see. When you bump into him and his girlfriend, after he introduces you 2 ( if he does) Dont be nervous don't walk away, Make him see that you are happy alone and with out him, let him see that you have spread your wings. If you don't have a boyfriend and you just have a guy friend with you act like hes yours. Arm around him, stuff like that. Just let him see that you are better off without him. As for coping with the pain of loosing someone you loved, Only time can heal a broken heart, to bad there is no home remedy for that. Just time. Try making a pro and con list, After what i read it sounds like the cons may out weigh the the pros. Then think about how much better you are then that.
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