A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:These are the reasons I think that quantifies ending a marriage (hopefully no kids will be affected) BUT I don't want to promote divorce so please argue with me on this:- you stop being who you are and change into someone you're not comfortable with- you are bored with his/her company despite efforts at dating again, reliving romance, and making conversation- you both have different ideas of your future together and there seems to be no middle ground on this- you are staying in the relationship because you are comfortable with each other. Because he/she is the devil (don't really mean devil) you know.- you stay because you are scared that the grass isn't greener on the other side- you stay because you are afraid to be alone- you stay because you have someone who loves you even if you don't love him the same way - can you really love him/her as a person or are you in love with the idea of love? If you are in love with the idea of being in love, shouldn't you leave? That person deserves to be loved for who she/he is.http://thoughtcatalog.com/kate-bailey/2013/07/11-signs-youre-just-in-love-with-the-idea-of-love/- being in a toxic emotional relationship- being in a co-dependent relationship- despite all your best efforts, after identifying what is missing in this relationship, you still feel lonely in the relationshipI know that these are problems that are less alarming compared to what others go through but are these worthy enough to say it's better to end a marriage OR should we encourage people to keep working on their marriage? Maybe they just need better tools to make it work? Learn to communicate, find things that could make the individual happy and not rely on his/her partner for happiness, give it more time, pray?But when do we really know it's better to just end it so both individuals can start over and hopefully make better life choices than waste any more of each other's time?In the end, it's a personal choice. "Is what you have now (or the person you are with) going to stop you from what you want your life to be 10-15 years from now? Something that you can be happy with." Either route is a choice you make but let it be a decision you want to live with not handed to you. That's how people live without regrets. I believe, there is nothing wrong with a marriage out of convenience if that is the choice you make. I also believe, that "fairytale" love also exists, if you let it, and reality is better, if you find the right person at the right time. I also believe, there is freedom and happiness in being single.
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (26 December 2015):
 You have listed some very relevant indicators of distress in a relationship.
Because I have seen the evidence with my own eyes when a couple are at peace with each other, the trust is high, and they clearly enjoy each other's company and have no secrets from each other - then I believe one can see their happiness reflected in their faces.
The opposite is true too - when a couple disagree on just about everything, where they distrust every move their partner even contemplates, and they behave in a way that results in no rapport between them and seem uncomfortable even being in the same room as each other then I think their discomfort starts to show on their faces.
Being in the wrong relationship ages a person.
The strain shows on their face.
They are not a team - because they are not travelling together (in life) in the same direction.
I cannot imagine how horrible it must be to share your bed and your life with a person who you feel uncomfortable with and who does not excite you.
Such discomfort will show on your face, at the very least.
It may show up in other ways in a person's life.
there is no all encompassing list of trait that are appealing or not appealing since we are all different.
one person may list a trait as a plus.
Another person will list the same trait as a negative.
But it is helpful to work out your own deal breakers when it comes to relationships - before you are 'in' a relationship.
things become a bit more difficult if you are IN a relationship and the negatives list far outweigh the positves
If that is the issue then try to do a Swot analysis separately.
Then come together to see where ( as a glimmer of hope) you agree.
If a couple cannot even agree on what are the strengths, weakness, opportunities (SWOT) of the relationship then call in a professional counsellor because a relationship is in dire straits if you cannot agree on anything and trust has disappeared completely.
I think lies, evasiveness and cover-ups occuring regularly in a relation shy are a sign the couple are not well connected.
Not respecting confidential issues as confidential where partners have discussed something sensitive - and then one member of the relationship finds that their partner/spouse/ lover has shared these details with outsiders is a real betrayal of trust and disresfectful.
If your partner/spouse/lover usually attends functions with you and suddenly offers excuses as to why it would be better that you not accompany them - that can hint at something being 'not quite right' in the relationship.
Spending habits can even change when two people (spouse, lover,, special person in your life, partner) are at odds with each other.
I am sure there are many more signs
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