A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Sorry, my question will prob sound a little dumb..... I've got a facebook page and a couple of months ago I requested Adam to be my friend. I knew Adam from years ago, we were really close but there was no romance, we were just good mates. He moved away but I would occasionally see him in our town when he visited and we would chat. But he rejected my request. I have no idea why, I havnt done anything to upset him or at least I dont think I have. Ive thought about messaging him and asking why, but that would make me look a bit desperate.Then last week, I requested another guy John as a friend. I know him fairly well, he's a drinking buddy with my group of friends. So I was suprised when he rejected me too!! I was only out with him last week, so again, I have no idea why he rejected me! I know my problem sounds very petty, BUT this sort of thing really plays on your mind and now I'm getting quite paranoid wondering whether people actually like me or whether I've done anything I don't know of that's offended them. I can't stop thinking about it and it's driving me mad. I know I shouldn't be bothered anyways if someone doesn't like me, but I'm a very sensitive person and hate it when people do this for no reason! What should I do?
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female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (7 October 2008):
 How do you know they have rejected you? I didn't use to use facebook from one month to the next and I would sign in and there would be shed loads of invites, most I wouldn't know, but some were people I hadn't heard from for years and I accepeted them, then got into it a bit more. Ive only got about 30 'friends' and they are all people I have had in my real life at some point. Oh sorry, apart from 1 I have 'known' on line for yrs.
Ask the John guy when you see him next. You will know for sure then.
Whats the betting he will say oh facebook, blimey, hardly ever use it.
Failing that Emilysanswers makes a whole lotta sence too.
Besides, just remember, we can please some people some of the time, but never all people all of the time. Some people wont like us! Its called a part of life.
C xxxx
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (6 October 2008):
Ok, here are 2 examples of why they could have rejected you. There are many many more reasons why they might have but you just have to use your imagination.
Adam gets your request. He's recently cheated on his girlfriend with an olympic pole jumper and his girlfriend is freaking out that it's going to happen again. She demands to know who you are, Adam explains, she wants to know why you would get in touch out of the blue, he says he doesn't know, she accuses him of contacting old girlfriends, and her voice starts getting really shrill. Adam rejects your friend request but still gets a 3 hour screaming match about how this is exactly the kind of thing that makes her suspicious.
John however was just drunk and didn't recognise your picture and then clicked randomly and missed the button to accept and rejected you. I think it would be safe to ask him why didn't accept your request.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): I just use facebook for real friends and always reject people who aren't real and current friends. Some people don't use it as a popularity contest and only really want true friends and family to see what's going on in their lives. Facebook is a very 'fake' environment - no one has hundreds of 'real' friends.It's probably nothing personal - they either haven't responded either way yet (some people rarely look at facebook) or they only want their genuine circle of good friends.
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