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anonymous
writes: Hello,I wonder what would most of you say about this problem.Now, I can't go into long detales, as it would be very long story, so I won't . But I just try to tell ,what is the general thing.I"m a realistic, mostly logical person, I think. So this is out of character for me to have such a thoughts. But at the last few years I have given some more attention, to words,like Curse or Karma. It is because,my life is totally full of crises, what I have nothing to do with. I mean ,it wasn't in my power.Really ,one terrible thing ,after the other, with no ''cause or effect"". I mean I know we all have rough patches... But ,when it never stops, you start to feel attacked by something. You start to ask .Am I cursed, or have bad luck? I wasn't a negative person before,but now I had to realize, things just don't seem to settle. I stil try and everything, but with very poor results. Now I was wondering ,if you have any experience like that? And what else could go on here? Thanks Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): That is one of my problem...DEAR WONDERINGCAT that ,I don't seem to find anybody around who got it worst. Not around me, around me most people looks like they have problems,but they still have alot of joy. I have to watch to news if I want to hear about real bad news. It sorta just plays with me..I don't know personaly anyobody who got it worst.DEAR TISHA1... Thanks for the nice words. I see ,you really understand where am I coming from. It is very difficult to stay positive, if you have no time to heal......When the sun is always down. It's not depression,it is real.I know why some people can't see hope. Becasue sometimes there isn'tYes there is a little black cloud what follows me around, I like how you put it.... And its a real one. It can come in the sunniest spot on earth. I think it is the KARMA OR CURSE.IT IS SO OBVIOUS.Dear " I never gave in to NEGATIVITY and I hope you never weaken to it. FOR NOW, i'm ....
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): HiYeah... life kicks me in the ass every so often.. QUITE HARD... pokes me in the eye every other day. QUITE SORE.. it picks me up and throws me to the wind... QUITE ROUGH... from the very beginning of life.... and probably right to the end! BUT no I am not cursed, I am blessed because each time I have to pick myself up and wipe the dust off... I smile because I survived, I never gave in to NEGATIVITY and I hope you never weaken to it. (Thinking) you are cursed is weakening your mind and spirit, shine on crazy diamond!Via con dios.
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reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (18 February 2009):
 I don't really have an answer for you, just my thoughts on this. My family has been going through a rough time with a whole host of medical issues. I won't bore you with the details either, but suffice it to say that it's getting to feel like the universe has decided to kick us when we're down.
So I kind of understand what it is you're getting at, talking about Karma or a Curse. It's like you're being followed around by a little (or maybe big?) black cloud. And that cloud is always dropping some kind of unwanted precipitation right into the days, even those days with the best laid plans.
So I have felt that I'm shaking my fist at the sky a bit, and shouting, "knock it off, enough already!" But everyday, I still have to get up and go out and do the things that take us from day to day. So I've chosen to try to do this in a healthy way. I'm eating right, I'm exercising, I'm exploring how yoga might help me, I draw on the support of my husband and friends, I lean on those family members who are capable of offering a little of their own support, I think about what it is that I'm here on this planet to do. I avoid negative people now, I don't have time for them any more, and by that I mean the ones who are toxic and drag you down rather than inspire and lift you up. Life is too short to tolerate mean or thoughtless behavior. I told one of my family members to bend like a willow when a storm blows through, I visualize myself doing that too. Some of the leaves get ripped off, some of the branches break, but generally the tree itself remains intact, and in better shape that the truly rigid ones with easily snappable branches.
I don't self-medicate with too much alcohol or cigarettes or drugs... they cloud my the mind and leave me feeling crummier. (I still enjoy my wine, though! Oh, and coffee too.)
I've been reading too. An aunt here recommended a book to me a while back and I've read through most of it. The Road Less Traveled (Scott Peck). Basically, he points out the obvious: that life is full of suffering. So we need to face that fact and figure out how it is we're going to cope with it. Face it head on and just experience the grief, sorrow, hurt, worry, guilt, whatever it is that is coming your way. Embrace it, don't try to squash it. The more you confront the bad stuff, the stuff that keeps you lying awake at night, the better strategies you'll be able to come up with to set things to rights. Of course, those things that are within your power to fix. The rest, let it go.
I've also discovered that friends and family can help support you too. You have to be willing to ask for the help and further, to take it when offered. This takes a different kind of strength and a huge dose of humility, and I think it's something most of us aren't terribly good at.
I also acknowledge that no matter how bad it seems to be getting, there is always someone who has it worse. (I imagine you're thinking to yourself that your are that someone for everybody else, eh?)
There is such a thing as subconsciously putting yourself into situations that will lead to disaster. So I have to recognize my own culpability in situations that I've engineered and subsequently get hurt by. It's not always obvious, and it's not always my fault, but sometimes it is, in roundabout way I put myself in the path of problems.
So keep yourself healthy, compassionate, always learning from experience and from others, try your very best not to wallow, but get out there and keep on putting one foot in front of the other, everyday. And one day, I hope soon, the sun will be shining again, and everything will seem more vivid and sparkling and alive due to the rain that's just passed.
Peace to you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): i`m kinda goin though that problem now as we speak,i am just now thinking...what the HELL, life was so awsome,now everything has turned on me..well 4 me i just had to sit back and think about what created this adverse affect on my life...and try to be true to myself,and try to come up with a resolution for whatever is goin on with me... have you any friends you can talk to that know you situation?hopefully they can help you think positive about ur situation..i don`t really have much to go on..WHAT COULD BE SO BAD????
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reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (18 February 2009):
 I think most of us go through periods of ups and downs in our lives. When you are down, it is only natural that you find it difficult to see the positive side of the situation.
Yes, I have been there too, and I am sure I will continue to have my ups and downs for more decades to come. And yes, sometimes I think it is Karma (to a certain extent, I am sure it is) - but not Curse. But I have been very fortunate that at when I thought I was at the lowest and thinking that it was sooo hard and was thinking I could not take it anymore, some small positive thing comes along. For people of deep faith, this is what they call "God will only give hardship that can be endured by the person". I truly believe in that too.
So instead of looking at the negatives now, try looking back, and think of how much of a stronger person you have become. Also, what I found helpful for myself, is that when I am really down, I look at people who are less fortunate - or with more hardships - than I. Usually, this puts things back into perspective, and gives me the strength I need to go through my own hardship at the time.
Good luck and be strong!
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