A
female
age
36-40,
*ourgirl
writes:ive been dating this guy for a five years and he had a baby scare with someone right before our relationship got serious. the baby turns out not to be his and he still takes care of the child just to be a good guy by being a good support. my main concern is the childs mother and why is she continuing to still linger when the results are that my man is not the father. and why hasnt she inquired to meet me. should i feel bad for resenting the child or do u think its important for me to meet this other girl. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (27 July 2008):
 He is supporting a child that is not his just to be a good guy? He is making a huge mistake and is going to suffer for this long term. He had his out, and he did not take it. Red Flag.
Stay away from him. Chances are he still carries a torch for that other girl. What kind of future and family can the two of you build when his time/resources/attention are already being given to someone that he does not actually have an obligation to?
-Frank B Kermit
http://www.frankadviceforwomen.com
A
female
reader, AskSusie  +, writes (27 July 2008):
This is a tough question 'yourgirl'. I'd say, considering that your boyfriend made this decision on his own, you would need to respect his decision and allow him to see through the commitment he has made. So, your option is to definitely meet this woman. Get to know her as a person who possibly needs the support and friendship of another.Discuss how you feel with your boyfriend so that he knows upfront your true and honest feelings on the subject and that there are no misunderstandings. By doing this, you stay true to your feelings and to yourself as a person in this relationship.Lastly, don't take out your frustrations on the child. The child is innocent of their parent / s actions and should be treated with love and respect as a human.Good luck with this advice.Regards,AskSusie
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