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male
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anonymous
writes: hi just wondering what the average age is for people to start going out with others. I am 16 and have never gone out with anyone and wondering if i dont any time soon will kind of miss the gun. Will soon be going to sixth form or an apprentership so im not sure if the next two years is a kind of make or brake time. Thanks for any help Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): Look there is no *age*. I had my first girl when I was 11, it was fun for a while you no like the school dance. You know dancing with her, like I said before it was fun for a while until she dumped me. Now I'm with another girl and it's going to last forever! =)
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2007): i'm under 12 (yeah, i know what you're thinking) and i'm "going out" w/ this guy in my school (and in my opinion), kids start dating or going out around the age of 12-14 i'm one of the lucky ones who got it early but all that's happening is a few kisses on the cheek and goodbye or hello hugs
don't worry it will happen to you one day maybe someone's just shy (it took my guy about 4 months to ask me out when someone squeezed it out of him!)
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007): I am 12 and ever had a girlfriend but about most of my frends have and had there fist kiss, I am afraid of never having a girlriend. How do I conquer the issue.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2006): I'm nineteen, and have never had a boyfriend either. In fact, I've never even been asked out by a boy! Knowing my luck, I'll be a fifty year old virgin! I'll be joining uni soon so it'll be a lot easier for you to get a boyfriend than for me. If no-one asks you out, then why not ask them? If you never give something a first try then you'll never do anything. Just enjoy life and take everyday as it comes, and keep on waiting patiently for 'Mr Right' to come along. He's out there waiting for you, promise!
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reader, Viper  +, writes (23 February 2006):
 Hey ThereJust to say, like others have said before me, there is no average age, my first girlfriend was when i was 13! Seems ridiculous looking back on it now, the amount of time i chucked away with my friends when I could've played football to be with her.I say it is most probably better to start dating at a later age around 15-20, just because you are 16 you shouldn't worry, enjoy the time you have with your friends, before all the work piles on you.Trust me having a girlfriend and having to work on coursework 24/7 is so stressful, especially when half the time there is nothing there. The work you do soon will set off your life, I say concentrate on work and your friends as girlfriends/boyfriends aren't all what they are cracked up to be around your age.Hope I've HelpedViper
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (22 February 2006):
 There really isn't *any* age that's average. Some kids start getting interested in each other around 11 or 12, which is -- IMHO -- ridiculously early in life. (At 11, all I wanted to do was pretend to have adventures on my imaginary horse.)
By 14 and 15, a lot of kids are beginning to go out, but don't fool yourself into believing that they're in the majority. To the contrary. People get led into thinking "everyone else" is dating because the hooked-up couples are the ones you notice, but when you start to look at your own circle of friends, you might actually see that fewer than half have regular boyfriends/girlfriends.
Sixteen is a reasonable age to start to go out, but nothing will happen if you don't meet someone compatible before the end of high school. Never fear! Strong relationships that last (and they're the ones you want) are usually made after you've begun to mature in your social and emotional outlook, as in your 20s. So you needn't worry about being left behind, just because you didn't manage to go out at 16, or 17.
It's hard to see the bigger picture when you've only ever had the very confining environment of high school to compare Real Life to, but remember that you only have experience in school so far. Naturally, you're likely to think that what you live every day is normal. But high school isn't normal and it isn't your real life. Once you finish secondary education and get on to the next phase of your life, your horizons will broaden immeasurably, and you'll see that dating isn't a black-and-white, clear cut issue for everyone.
FWIW, I never had a date until I was 2 years out of high school. I felt like an outsider at the time, but when I look back, I was just a late bloomer, and there wasn't any irreversable harm done ;-) by not dating at 16.
You'll be fine. Just don't try to live up to anyone else's standard and this won't be an issue to you.
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reader, missbunbury +, writes (22 February 2006):
 I was just the same at your age - I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was sixteen, and for me, a big reason for that was school. I don't know how you get on with people at school, but I was always one of the 'nerds' - the sort of girl no-one at school would ever have considered going out with! I used to get very upset by this, and felt like I was probably just never going to find anyone. As soon as I left school though (I went to sixth-form college for my A-levels) it was as if a whole new world had opened up to me. I wasn't judged at college like I had been at school - no-one knew me, so they didn't realise I was the uncool one! I made loads of new friends, boys and girls, and within a couple of months of starting college I had my first boyfriend. I think the more mature attitude at the college helped too - there was a lot less playground-type giggling and hand-holding, and a lot less gossip about who was doing what with whom, and this meant the pressure was off. I think it'll be the same for you - you might be a bit of a late starter, but all you've really missed out on is the horrible, awkward, "my mate fancies your mate" stage, which really isn't that great a loss! Try not to think about this in terms of having a deadline - there's really no such thing as "make or break time" when it comes to learning about relationships so you should try to worry less and just get on with having the most fun possible. Make sure you're not giving off a desperate vibe, and try to always make friends with members of the opposite sex before you start thinking about being more than friends - after all, if you don't get on with someone as a friend, chances are they're not the best potential partner for you either.
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