A
female
age
36-40,
*elenaV
writes:Alright ive been with my boyfriend for a year and 6 months,the first year we wer very good i was the happest girl in the world.hes a great guy weve never had any trust issues we are alwas together. after the first year we moved out together that was the starting of everthing bad....he got into some issues with his friends illegel isses. and thats when he asked me to work at a strip club that was so shocking to me and thats when i started to feel like he didnt care. one day cops showd up at owr house and i had to take him outta jail he never listend to me and ive alwas told him that he shouldnt be geting into the things that put him ther. That night we tookk him out i asked him if he would stop that for us and he said no that if i leave him he cant do nothing about it. i stayed with him,yeah i kno dumb i just cared to much. we stoped going out and had to move in with his dad. it got even worse becuz he already started making planes to get bk to the same thing,i asked him againg to please stop and he just said he loved it to much to give it up for me,i started to have anger for him and i started to wana go out more becuz we never did nothing together he was just focused on maken money n askin me for money knowing that he had a job on top of that. we never did anything and he never wanted to spend anything not even something that cost five dollers. well i met a guy at my job and we alwas spoke to eachother about our feelings,this guy ive none knaw for almost two months we hang out more and knaw he really likes me,he alwas takes me out and takes good care of me when im feeling down esp knowing hw i feel about someone elsa but anywas this is realy taking forever so to make a long story short,i cheated on my boyfriend and knaw i might be pregnant by the good friend i met at work i like him alote but thers time when i realy dont he said he doesnt want me to have the day after pill becuz if i turn out pregnant he wants it but i still love my boyfriend and after cheatin on him i would let the other guy go. i pretty much took a brake with my man and moved out. he tells me he misses me and loves me i miss him alote. one guy will do anything for me and the other wont,but both of them tell me they love me. someone please help me im scared !!!!!!!!!!!!!
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at work, be pregnant, cheated on my boyfriend, might be pregnant, money, moved out Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (20 December 2010):
 Ok, now I saw this post 5 hours ago and I ignored it.
Now that this post has been up for 6 hours with no response I'm going to let you know why I (and perhaps others) ignored it to begin with...
You will not listen.
You will not listen.
Listen not will you.
Don't get me wrong, I can only go by what you've written here, but you strike me as a girl who bends easily to the will of guys and puts their wants/needs before your own... You've dug yourself a big hole... so deep and complicated that there is no easy "pain-free" solution... Sorry, but there really isn't, somebody is going to get hurt here... lets just hope that it's not you.
Right now you need to focus on yourself... you need to be selfish!! What the F*** do you want for yourself?? Make a "pro's and con's list" for yourself on both of these guys... Be logical for a second and realize that just because a guy says that he LOVES YOU that it doesn't excuse WHO HE IS as a man or HOW HE TREATS YOU!!
If a random stranger came up to you... drunk... high... but said that he loved you... surely you wouldn't believe him, or even give him the time of day...?
Stop making sacrifices for boys for god sake!! You're a woman, be strong, be emotive and animated, be ruthless, snap your fingers and say "OH NO YOU DIDN'T!!"
STOP BENDING TO THE WILL OF GUYS!! YOUR WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND THEM!!
Actions, not words, are what you should make your decisions on when it comes to guys.
Not that you'll listen, but in my opinion... your ex...
Douche.
A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (20 December 2010):
You’re making mistakes after mistakes, why don’t you do a self-assessment of yourself and see how you can change this for your own good. You have a guy that you love (hard to say that), but he clearly doesn’t love you back. When you love someone they wouldn’t ask you to do something that would hurt you beyond repair i.e. strip clubs. No way in hell would I ever accept money from that, ever.
Your guy is just trouble and you know it, why are you standing behind someone who only has self-interest and he has clearly, I mean stated it that you’re not that important to him. What do you need for this man (your bf) to say to you before you get the message to move on? He said that he loves you and you felt loved right. Gosh that was so empty that I felt nothing from it. I love you is back up with deeds, your guy basically told you No. make sure your break is permanently.
This new guy isn’t much better either, heck he doesn’t even know you yet he tell you how much he loves you. Ask him what does he loves about you. He’ll be complete blank except that the sex was good. Quit opening your legs to guys, that’s the last thing you as a female want to do, it confuses the situation, fuck sex isn’t always the answer.
You need to find out which one is the father of you baby. You need to drop both, NO; you need to let your bf (if he’s really that) go for good like yesterday. The new guy-cut him off from sex even if he’s the father, NO SEX and get to know the dude standing up clothes on.
Neither one of them loves you, but at least the new one is will to show a little interest.
Don’t ruin your life with these guys and take your time please.
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