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Texts at 3-4am from ex

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 January 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 20 January 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *weetpie88 writes:

Hi, i broke up with my boyfriend abut 4 months ago and we haven't spoken for at least 2 months and now he's been texting me every night about 3 or 4 in the morning. i really wanna know whether he still likes me or not cz i still love him

View related questions: broke up, text

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A female reader, sweetpie88 United Kingdom +, writes (20 January 2009):

sweetpie88 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

sweetpie88 agony auntthnx guys 4 da advice

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A female reader, sexylette United States +, writes (16 January 2009):

sexylette agony auntYea, i agree with "sparkle wood" it sounds like he's just looking to get sum. but i might be wrong MAYBE he couldn't sleep and txt you cause he still has feelings for you, but the only way to find out is to talk to him.! so good luck :))

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009):

:( I understand how you feel. I have had that happen, as I am sure that many people have heard from their exes and ungodly hours of the night. I learned that it was a form of control that my ex was trying to have over me. It was a way of keeping me under his thumb. If I did not respond, he would assume that I was with someone else and would attack me. In an effort to protect my dignity (in a counterproductive way), I would spend the next day explaining that I had been sleeping and that the texts at that hour were unreasonable and that I had not been with anyone else because I still loved him.

All the meanwhile, he was the one who had moved on to a new girlfriend and would text me while he was with her, because he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with her or with me. Eventually enough was enough (I should ahve come to this realization much sooner), and I told him to have fun with his new girlfriend and that I had too much respect for myself to feel as though I should respond to him when we were no longer an item.

The control was exhibited in such a passive way that I did not realize it until a few months after I had put my foot down. It wasnt fair to me and it is not fair to you. His texting ensures that you will be thinking about him - and if you are indeed in another relationship, it will keep a little part of you belonging to him. it's so easy as someone outside of the fishbowl to wag a finger at this, but I understand and as soon as you feel that you have your footing, let him know that he can't play these games with you because its disrespectful to you and to the relationship that you had with him. If the relationship is done, then that's it, it is simply done; but you're far too good to be strung along like that because it causes you to constantly lose the footing you are working so hard to create for yourself.

Good luck!

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A female reader, CheReeZ United Kingdom +, writes (16 January 2009):

What sort of things does he say in the texts?

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A female reader, sparkleworks Australia +, writes (16 January 2009):

sparkleworks agony auntNot to be harsh, but it sounds like he's looking for a booty call.

If you really want to figure out if he still likes you, the best way to do it is to have a proper discussion with him at a reasonable hour, NOT the middle of the night when there's a good chance he's just drunk and/or horny.

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