A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it best to tell a girl you are in love with as soon as possible? Even if the girl is your best friend?
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male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (14 April 2012):
OK, well maybe these details should have been shared in your initial posting?
Look, don't write a letter to tell someone you love them. Tell them in person when they have some time to spend with you.
Drive out to see her some day and lay it on her. Actually, its really better to broach the romance aspect with someone by kissing them rather than getting into the "I love you" part. Even normal dating relationships, even people who've had SEX with each other have not told each other they love each other right away.
Its better to gradually develop affection and have some real romance than to just blurt out "I love you." in any circumstance.
Relationships do have a progression, you know. Its best to follow it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell as of now, it's not really that long distance. She's just in another part of the state, maybe 4 hours away. She just can't go home often because of money issues.
And yes, I was planning long distance. I believe it can be done. I mean, we became best friends by exchanging many large e-mails last year. There was a time when we exchanged emails everyday. And when things got busy for us, every week.
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (13 April 2012):
This doesn't seem too promising. OK, so from what very little info we have on this scene, I can extrapolate that this is long distance?
So, you want to tell her you love her right before she goes back to wherever she lives and does not get to see you. This is even worse for her if she feels the same way.
What are your motivations? Do you want a relationship long distance with this friend you don't get to see often? Or are you simply trying to get this off your mind?
If its the former, you are in for a hard time, both of you. If its the latter, this is selfish, I am sorry to say.
Sounds like you are just plain afraid. This is not meant to be criticism, just the best analysis of the situation I can make.
I am going to assume that you knew this person face-to-face for some time before she went away. You had your chance.
Writing her a letter is a good idea: If you are a character in some romance novel that occurs in 14th century Europe.
What were your plans anyway?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your advice :). I've decided to tell her how I feel. I want to tell her as soon as possible but she'll only be home at the end of April and she's only there for her cousin's wedding. I doubt I'll have much time with her so I'm thinking about giving her a letter than. Do you think that's okay? I don't want to text her or leave her a message on facebook. Doesn't feel rit to me.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (10 April 2012):
 Let me give you a "balancing" opinion.....I dated a woman who I was introduced to through a mutual friend. We met by having dinner.... and, as might be predicted, believed we liked one-another and had more and more contacts/dates....After about 4 weeks, we became close enough to be intimate... We both had homes, and stayed at each-others' home... whichever was closest/most-convenient at the end of the night's date....After about 6 weeks, I felt very close to this girl and told her (specifically) that I was falling in love with her. She told me, "You hardly know me well enough to say that..."From there, the "relationship" became quite peculiar.... tho' it lasted for more than another year.... I felt odd... that she never spoke of intimacy and feelings... and, consequently, I felt that I, too, should not broach that subject.... Over time, she would say to me, "Yes, I REALLY LIKE you...." but she was never able to squeak the word "love" out from her lips...After about two years, she began to exhibit rather odd behaviours.... as if she was disinterested in me and the "relationship" that (I believed) existed between us....Finally, there was an incident wherein her step-Father (who I'd met and knew) died.... and she asked me to attend his funeral service... but, on the appointed day, I never heard from her to coordinate meeting her/picking her up, to attend.....I never spoke to this woman, nor did I ever see her again. It was the damndest thing... but ever does it "remind" me that she started by "telling me" that I couldn't "love" her....Food for thought.....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2012): Yes, from the bottom of your heart to the tip of your penis, you should.
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (10 April 2012):
Do it before she finds a boyfriend.
But don't just jump into that. Stroke her hair, touch her, give her a kiss. Go on a few dates. Then you'll know the right time to tell her.
Bottle it up and you WILL go mental, especially if she thinks you just want to be friends and finds someone else.
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A
female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen  +, writes (10 April 2012):
 If you are really in love with her why hold it back? Don't sit around waiting and trying to decide. What is it you're waiting for anyway? Tell her now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2012): I recommend you to tell her. I have a male friend, who's got a crush on me, but he has never revealed his feelings and it's really awkward, so if you REALLY like/love the girl, tell her! Trust me, she'll appreciate it!
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