A
female
age
30-35,
Katy.
writes:A many people have informed me throughout growing up; teenage life is one of the toughest times, with the hormones, the pressures, and everything else that goes on, no-one gets it easy and some don't even get through it and i don't think many adults actually realise what goes on anymore; afterall times have changed.I decided to write this article because I'm sick and tired of my age being such an issue to everyone in society, I'm fifteen and probably one of the most responsible teenagers you could ever meet; I'm obviously not perfect and I do have my faults as everyone does, but the fact that I'm a teenager no matter how i act I still manage to get "steriotyped" into the rest. I barely ever drink alcohol, I've never tried drugs/smoking, I'm never out unless its with my friends doing something organised, my future and my school work is pretty important to me and I don't get the point in people causing chaos for fun. I don't want to be treat like an adult, as i obviously still have alot to learn, yet i seem to get no respect what so ever, which makes me think that there's so much bad news on teenagers because most have given up on themselves; because everyone else seems to. I'm probably one of the only students in my lessons which focusses on my work, yet i get no praise for the effort i put in and the minor issues are easily picked up on. Just as the pupils which don't do well, get all the praise in the world if they sit and listen for ten minutes. I honastly don't get it, but it's just life i guess?I've noticed when answering questions on this site or asking for advice, we all seem to be treat like children as if we know nothing, this may not be true in some cases yet if i was maybe a 18+ aunt, i bet you i'd get different advice to what i do get.I've been with my boyfriend for a year almost and he's everything i could wish for, he's amazing and it's not one of them pathetic kiddish relationships. i did lose my virginity to him; and it was probably one of the best moments of my life so far, just because we do love each other. Were safe and take precautions yet one time when we had an accident and i went to get the morning after pill, i was instantly judged as "another one".Not all of us are bad; infact a lot of us arn't, but the mucky looks i get from people even when i smile at them can sometimes instantly crush you. I take care of my appearance, and i do look older than i am, mainly because i don't dress in the typical way and i make sure i do look nice, but if i'm with one or two of my friends then i'm automatically "out to cause trouble".Anyways, this might seem like a pointless article to many if not all aunts on this site, i'd just like people to keep in mind that at the end of the day were not all the same, and sometimes misjudging people; any people, can be a pain, and no two are the same.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): Teenagers, well in my personal experience and watching how other teenagers grow it all comes from the parents.It soley depends on how one is raised. My cousins where fine but not great, mood swings, foul mouthed, disrespecful. Why because the mother would always spoil them on all sides. One father would never be around, never talk to them even though he was there finacially. Another father was always drinking at the pub or asleep and wasn't there for his. Another uncle was so there but so strict, they wished he wasn't. Another was a workaholic and never spent time with his kids. Three of the mothers spoiled these children. Two never taught them anything, let them get away with murder.
Now I have two teenagers, brought up single handedly since my divorce 11 years ago. Never had a partner after, was there for my children always. They don't and won't smoke, drink or do drugs. They don't chase the opposite sex or look at them. They can date when they are ready and a little older. I know they will leave it late! No they are not gay either, even though I would still love them.
They are not perfect, free and loose around me however I have never had a bad word said about them nothing but phrases from school, neighbours, friends etc......their friends do smoke, some chase girls. However this is what they have seen within their own familys.Its how you raise them, what they see within the family makes the difference.
My cousins where abnoxious but I knew it was my own aunties fault and their dads also. I watched how they handled bad behavoiur, laughing as if afraid of their children. Putting their heads down etc.....disgusting.
One of my sons wheres a hood in the house and outside and I had to try and get him out of it because when he went into the store they thought he was one of those theifs. They would suspect him because he wore a hood. He was extremly shy, now just a little but growing out of it. 16 and 17 I advised them through the years and always talked with them not to them. We shared views and opinions and I encouraged them to have their own views and opinions from when they where 2. I wanted them to learn about life skills on there own, use their own common sense. Television has helped a lot. By them watching programs which install good behavouir and which shows bad behavoiur as wrong they picked up their own opinions there.
They would make comments, mummy she shouldn't speak to her mother like that, or that is so wrong I would do this to my child.etc.......
Luckily they understand only too well that children should not be allowed to mistreat anyone especialy their parents and its me who states its not the children fault but the parents.
Some children just have not be lucky to have a better role model or example.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): Finally an older person who can actually understand us thanks star!I totally agree with this article.I was a virgin up until about 6 moths ago (16 at the time)and i am a 17 year old A* student. I had the best intentions of keeping my virginity until i was married but hey things happen. At the start i was distraught feeling like i had did something really wrong but then i realized i had been in the relationship for over a year and a half so i can hardly be called an rash action. I have always been quite mature for my age and although that is not an excuse i am still in the same loving relationship and after i finish my education we have plans to get married. With regards to the dirty looks i think we have all been there and who are they to judge anyway aren't they the poeple that brought us up and taught us how to act?maybe older people should do less judging of others and take good look at themselves! I know that i am most certainly not perfect, far from it in fact but, is anyone? I dont smoke, drink and i am in the middle of studying hard for my exams, so give teenagers a break i think if the older generation were to live their life again now they would see its not just the amount of underage sex, drinking, violence etc that has changed, and with increased pressure being put on teenagers by the minute it is only getting harder. if older people could witness this it just might make them realize that life is not easy for teenagers and it would make them think more carefully about judging them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): I am an 18 year old girl, and when i was 15 i was treated exactly the same as you, older people would walk down the street and give me dirty looks as if i was some teenage tear away. If me and my friends were innocently standing near a wall in the street, adults would come along and tell us too move along or they would phone the police, just for us standing at wall doing nothing wrong. And i started to go a wee bit off the rails, i hated not getting any respect from adults, when i was 15, so i went out and i bought my first bottle of alcohol and made sure it was something strong, i drank it and through the bottle into a womans garden, i started too smoke, if someone looked down their nose at me i would shout abuse at them, and then i realised, i wasnt making these people show me respect i was making them scared that i would mug them or something. So i wised up, and now if im walking down the street i stop and say hello to the adults, after a while they realise your not so bad after all, and start treatin you with respect, yes obviously there is them teens out there that take drugs and shout and scream too all hours, but there are some pretty decent teens out there, that need to come forward and show the adults that they arnt as bad as what they think you all are. xxx
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reader, WiccanWonder +, writes (30 March 2009):
 Really good article!
So true - Im the same as you!
I hate it that just because of the minority, we all get judged so harshly.
(: thanks for posting it (:
Hugs
Tasha 3
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reader, Katy. +, writes (29 March 2009):
Katy. is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the two comments, I weren't expecting much feedback if any and I do agree with the whole idea of "how you are/were raised is an important aspect to your life." Just because I have had a decent (not perfect) upbringing so far which I'm greatful for.Anyways cheers (:Oh and Star, yeah that is how most of us talk; not me, but the majority and I have to admit it's pretty damn annoying [;
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reader, OMG_Manda  +, writes (29 March 2009):
 Pretty insightful and true.
All while reading this it reminded me of a quote.
" The adults will always ctitize us but have they ever stopped to think of who raised us?"
we know what we're taught and sometimes what we find out.
It's not our fault some of our peers are screwed up and etc.
=].
Much love,manda
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): I thought you all were the same - like zebras or similar?
(mind you its when you get really close you see all Zebras are different - its the markings)
You are unusual here in a lot of ways. You have given a clear well thought out structured article.
On here, my experience is the younger posters tend to say either "OMG Does he like me? - he looked at me , what should i do OMG" or "all my mates are shagging, shooting heroin and jumping off bridges - should i do the same?" or "I have seen picture of a penis - can i get pregnant?"
A good post - I sometimes found more wisdom in the answers given by those of lesser age than the older ones here.
We always judge based on our experiences - unfortunately most of us were young once and the past makes our present.
Hugs Star.x.
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