A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Can you please help me try to figure out whats goings on its tearing me apart!!Well theres this lad in my class(we are a class of 10 very nice group)The thing is i don't understand whats going on hes so different with me and will hardly talk to me. I can't really explain it because i can;t get my head round it but im gonna try!Likes he a really friendly, talkative, confident(ish) guy but the thing is he just does seem to talk to me and the reason im so confuse is because its not like it has been sometimes where he'll talk better on his own than with the others in the group.The thing is like for example the other day we were just sitting in a room and he started showing this other lad in the class some photos on his phone and telling him about where he played at a gig(a pub that me and him go to to some gigs every so often)..the lad he was telling also knew that the place was the pub where me and him went but doesnt know anything about it really. The thing is he just started telling him about it and stuff yet he wouldn't just come out and talk to me about stuff like that. He does that with loads of people just randomly starts conversations or says anything just to talk but he won't with me. Another thing he won't seem to do with me is tease me/wind me up or mess around with me like others. The thing is he knows we have the same interests and stuff, he surely knows i'll talk back but he just wont! So he can;t really say he doesn;t know what to say to me! When he does randomly say stuff to me its somwething silly or something about college. Occasionally if we have been alone yeah he has started telling me about what hes done the night before but other than that he just doesn't seem to talk. Sometimes its like he can't and others i just don't know.He is a tiny bit different if we meet with some friends out of college but not a lot its still the same principle...I don't understand i mean...i have his msn but unless he has to say something he'll never start conversations with me i have t do it. yeah if i start to talk to him first in person he will talk most of the time if hes got something to say but as i say sometimes it seems like he can't and other times its jsut like he aint bothered(he isnt shy btw) besides when hes needed to the only time hes started a conversation on msn with me is once after a gig..where tbh i have no idea what happened be we had the best time and was messing about laughing joking talking loads and he just started joking with me on msn and rambling on about stuff. its like when he does do these things its like hes got a sudden boost of confidence.I sit with him in class and we hardly talk unless i talk first and if he does talk to me its either about work or pointing something out or because somethings just happened. Yet he'll just ramble on about anything with other.It doesn;t help that i never know what to say to him but tbh if i knew he;d respond back then yea i would talk more ut i don;t know whats going on.There is a difference if we're alone but sometimes there isn't.Thing is he says he loves me as a mate and i mean a lot to him but he wont even talk to me or mess about with me like he does with others i dont get why im treatd differently... Please help me what could this be i can't talk to him about it but i need some advice on what you think this is! Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): mixed signals?
just play it cool i would, guys like that you never know and if you are struggling to talk you won't last as a couple imediate communication problems.
get to know him better, his likes dislikes what food he hates that kind a thing..
they say that love is friendship on fire
so i think you need to start at friendship. get that right first.then see where things fall. because right now total honesty babe you don't really know him.
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