A
male
age
30-35,
*anthers32
writes:So I have been with this girl for a year and a half, and I actually moved into her house with her parents. We met through online gaming actually and lived close enough to where we decided to get together and inevitably move in. So the first few months of our relationship were amazing of course, but then I got into a very defensive mind frame regarding to how my past girl friend treated me. So even though i was living with her i was a bit reserved and wasn't the best talker or listener. After the first 2-3 months we stopped having sex almost completely, and this was on me, i just never was in the mood to be honest. I was so focused on my work that i never had the spark or interest like i once did, but i still loved her and care for her to death, but i was god awful at showing her I admit. So a year passed by and things were going just fine for me and her, i was happy as usual, and she seemed happy but always asked for more attention or more 'love'. I would always shoot this down and laugh saying that i obviously love her but that i was busy. And our schedules were totally opposite. I was busy from 7pm to 5am and she worked from 2pm to 9 pm. So a little after a year went by and she started going over to her god mothers house Roxys late at night. I thought nothing of this because i seen my gf talking to Roxy constantly on FB so i figured this was cool, so since she didn't have a car i would just let her ride my car over there while i did what i normally do. Later did i find out that Roxy has a son named Quinn that my Gf used to talk to before we were together that actually lives there full time. My gf never tried talking much about this guy and always down played his existence. So as i found out more on why she was going out so late i figured out that my gf and Quinn used to talk and actually have hooked up several times in the past. When i asked her this, she denied it and said hell no, they never hooked up, but when i messaged him he said they did but not while we have been together. So my gf lied about them using to hook up, but claims she never talks to him at all anymore and she actually says that she HATES HIS GUTS. So one day i ask my gf to see her phone and she tells me NO! and absolutely refuses to let me see her phone AT ALL. I tell her if you have nothing to hide and you arent doing anything wrong then why are you hiding your phone? She responds that she is entitled to her own privacy, and that past relationships her guys did that and she wasnt doing that again. Also every time she goes out at night she gets all dolled up, like 100% dolled up. I confront her about this and she says that she always dresses up to go everywhere (she kinda does) So after lying about them hooking up before, and not telling me this dude and her had talked in the past also compounded by the fact she would not let me look at her phone. The other day she finally showed me there messages after hours of hiding it and all it showed was a meaningless message about a lighter about a month ago, but yet this dude popped up as #1 on her FB messenger favorites. This girl swears up and down that they never did anything while she went over there and that she was only talking to her Godmother the entire time even though all of this looks like she has something to hide, she swears up and down that she would never do something like that to me and that nothing ever happened. Also the 1 day that i fly out of town to Denver is the 1 night she decided to stay the night at her godmothers house since i took the car too the airport. Everything just seems so fishy, and she tells me she wants to still be in a relationship with me and all that but my gut instict is telling me there is more to what she is telling me and that they are indeed fucking. I think the fact she keeps telling me over and over that she hasn't is what's messing with my head and not allowing me to just walk away. what do you guys think? Is she cheating? Is it not enough evidence to walk away from this girl i obviously love? because i know i wasn't the greatest boy friend but i never could cheat on somebody, or even put my self in the situation that would look like it.
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his ex, in the mood, moved in, online gaming, spark Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 October 2016):
 You treat her like crap so it would not surprise me if she went running to someone else. Is it right? No it is not. But I agree with her when it comes to her phone. She is entitled to her own privacy, you are not entitled to snoop through her phone. If my partner asked to see my phone I would refuse as well and I have nothing to hide. Everyone needs there own privacy. I think you should end this relationship. Even if she is not cheating I don't think it will work out, you don't trust her, you blame her for things your ex girlfriend done to her and you don't show her any romance or love.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2016): I agree with both posts. You checked out of the relationship so she started looking elsewhere but what she should have done is dump you not cheat.
You need to decide whether it's worth carrying on as if you can't be bothered having sex or engaging with her this early on then your relationship has no legs and isn't worth saving.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2016): She wasn't honest with you that they used to have sex in the past + she is hanging around him now = cheating. That simple math problem by itself is already enough to show she is doing you wrong. You don't even need to plug in the rest of the details.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (16 October 2016):
 I read this post with mouth open. What a cheek, treating your girlfriend as you do yet demanding loyalty and openness from her.You deny her sex or attention (in her eyes this equates to love) yet kick off because you think she is seeing someone else?Do you know what, I hope she IS seeing someone else, someone who is treating her properly, not in the dismissive way you have been treating her. You need a good kick up the bum and to start treating this girl with love and respect. Either that or let her go and find someone who deserves her, because you sure as hell don't at the moment. YOU may be happy with your relationship but I would be most surprised if she is anything resembling happy. Never mind accusing her of seeing someone else. You need to look at your own behaviour and try to build a relationship in which she is not starved of attention.
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