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male
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*rnbolton
writes: I think my girlfriend is cheating. She is working late more often and doing different things during sex. I think it's with another couple. She always talks about them. They were over the other night and it seemed like I wasn't even there. They did not give me any eye contact and cut me off when I was talking. My girlfriend gave them a guitar that was her dead uncle's when they were there. She sat with them on the sofa and had her legs towards them and barely talked to me. Also a lot of touching between the three of them when they would talk. Thoughts? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, ourchosenpaths +, writes (7 February 2006):
 Sounds very suspicious bro. I think she just might be cheating. The most annoying thing in the world is being with a girl who ignores you around company, but that's just how it is. If she's making physical cues towards it, it sounds like it might be happening.
A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (6 February 2006):
 Well...I don't like the word confront in this situation.
First you need to decide what your reaction would be no matter what the answer.
A) yes...I have wanted to tell you...they are swingers and we are a threesome...would you like to make it 4?
B) NOOO...they have been really nice to me...How could you even think that....YOU ARE SICK!
She might not ever speak to you again...if you accuse her of something that she's not doing.
It will take some thoughtful conversation to get to the truth without it being a fight.
Ask in a round about way over a period of time.
Ask her about her fantasy evening. (does she mention anything about sex with more than one person?)
Tell her that by accident you ended up on an internet site devoted to swingers and you had no idea that that lifestyle was so popular. (Does she seemed shocked, intrested, grossed out, rather informed about the subject?)
Do NOT profess any opinion of your own about it. Simply say you have never thought about it...what does she think? If you seem judgemental about it...she's never going to tell you if she's into this...she may be frightened of your reaction.
If body language is all you have to go on...you need to really think about what your suspecting. I am not saying that your gut reaction is not correct...but, you may be jumping the gun on evidence.
Does she spend weekends with them...or ever spend the night at their house without you? If not...then it could easily be your imagination. Just think before you jump on this line of questioning...you may not reallllllly want to know the answer and if it's not true...your going to tick her off big time.
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A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (6 February 2006):
 sounds like something is going on and you are not part of it, they are close and getting closer, you need to sort this one out and do it soon.
Confront her and tell her what you have seen and where that has led your thoughts, but be prepared for the fall out, good luck
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