A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex boyfriend broke up.. 4 years ago now when he went to College, as it was 5 hours away from where we lived, and he didn't want to do a Long distance relationship. He graduates this semester, but I'm not sure what his plans are, if he's staying there, or coming back here. The saddest thing, is that I still like him, I guess it's because he was my first love and I had so many firsts with him. Just imagining him being with anyone else is just, not worth thinking about, although I know he's had 2 girlfriends since being at College. I know I should have got over him by now, and that he's probably over me. I've still kept all the photos of me and him together, stupid little things, and the letter he gave me. It's abit silly really, sometimes I still think about the old times, and me and him... and just want to phone him, or text him, just for a chat, or a cheer up, but I feel like I shouldn't.I haven't really had any offers from guys since him, I guess thats one of the reasons why I haven't moved on very quickly. Saying that, there is a guy who I like, who lives quite a while away from me, but we act like we're a couple when we're together. However, he's going into the Navy in the next year, which means he'll be even further away and I'm not sure if he's a LDR kinda guy either. I'm not sure how I stand with him really, he calls me his, pays for meals, hugs and kisses me, takes me out.. (we dont see eachother often) but nothings been mentioned about going out, and I wouldn't want to ruin anything we have, even though I'm desperate to just be with him. It's a shame really, I'd love to be with this guy, and I am falling for him, but I don't think it will happen, with him going into the forces, and the whole LDR thing. Back to the ex - We recently met up, after not seeing eachother since we broke up, it was awesome, just like the old times. We had a right laugh, and was talking about everything going on, and we hugged goodbye. My friend, Jack who was with us, said he thought he was still fond of me. I know he still finds me attractive, as he's told me before. I found it so difficult after meeting up with him, and got back to my apartment, I kept crying. I realised how much I'd missed him, and how I just wanted to see him, and be with him again. Last week, I spoke to him, somehow we ended up talking about sex.. and I said I'd only have sex with him, or the guy I like, but wouldn't with anyone else. He then asked if I'd have sex with him it was only going to be a 1 night thing, hesistantly, I said yes, even though I knew deep down I knew I'd find it difficult. He then said when was back in San Fran, he'll come and have sex with me whenever I wanted. Whenever we seem to talk, it always ends up dirty. I know I shouldn't have said yes, and that having sex with him won't solve anything, and that guys can usually switch off their feelings with sex etc. It'll probably end up with me having more feelings for him than I already have. I guess I'm thinking if we have sex, something might develop, although it's highly unlikely. I really don't know what to do, or how he feels about me. I'm scared of telling him how I feel, incase he breaks everything off, and I'd hate not to have him in my life anymore.Surely, there has to be a part of him that still attracted to me if he wants to do that?Could he still like me, or develop into anything?What are your opinions my whole situation?Any help is appreciated. Thankyou! :)
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broke up, long distance, my ex, navy, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, always.you +, writes (3 June 2009):
 you would just be setting yourself up to get hurt most likely trust me ive been in that position. but update if anything happens we'd like to know how everything went
A
female
reader, BeachBum +, writes (3 June 2009):
I have to agree with icelordess. There are a lot of people who can easily just have sex with people with no attachments and no feelings. And it's very possible that is all he wants. It sounds like you know that's not the kind of relationship you want and you really care about him still. Doing so might just hurt you even more and prevent you from being able to find someone else in the future. Think about it hard before you make any choices and when you've made your decision maybe let him know what you've decided if you've changed your mind. Be string and make the decision that will make you happiest. hugs x
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