A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:how do i get over the past and fight back .when i was 13 years old i ha megga problems at school / home i had megga problems . at school i didnt have many true friends - even the ones i had used me and i was also badly bullyed . i wated to be someone eles ...... then like this other guy in my class started giving me attention ..... i thought he wanted to be friends so i thought this is great in with the in crowed right ? i was wrong ... he started saying these sexual things ... and kept on touching me i never wanted this .... once he pushed me up against the wall and put his hand on my leg and up -i didnt want him to - i kept telling him to stop with the comments and the toucthing instead the things he was saying got darker then i found out his mum died of cancer when he was young i went home and cried about that - im one of those people who cares about people ..... and i thought he had been through enough so i didnt report what he was doing then he would twist memories and keep the ones where he taught me how to play basketball and like always listening into my covosations and looking in my diary when i wasnt there ..,then he thingfs he said started to get darker and i felt dirty what he was saying - m,any nights i was in tears feeling that i had no one to tell and i self harmed. then one of his mates said he fancied me ....cut along storyt short i complained and he turned everyone against me . even his friend -stuck by him when he was in the wrong.... i got bullyed and received abusive emails during my exams and i done nothing wrong and i got the exams i needed to leave... i even had someone email me called me a liar and everything and yet the person dosnt even know me he has become warped by him . he thinks what a great person he is . but like i still think about him i dont know why ... i just feel so hurt and why does life have to be sooo complicated he was everything i wanted to be ....... i dont know if i cared about him .... i just feel so upset.... surley what he done was wrong wasnt it ? i still cry sometimes
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you guys for your help
A
male
reader, yodastud  +, writes (6 July 2009):
Hello,Life is complicated unfortunately at times and hard to understand. I'm sorry you have been hurt by what happened.First of all, it doesn't matter what your classmate's history was - he wrong to touch if you didn't want him to touch you, whether it's sexual or not. He was wrong to read your diary. No one deserves abuse. It is very sad that many people do not believe that a young man like yourself can actually be abused - that you must have welcomed this in some way, or you were lying. You say he was part of the "in" crowd - it's much easier for people to believe him and what he represents - people don't generally like to have their concepts challenged - they like to look at the world a certain way and strongly resist those who to try to change it - which you did when you complained about your former friends behaviour. And that's not your fault - it's just the way it is. Sounds like you were frightened, looking for a true friend, didn't know who to talk to, didn't know what to do. On the other hand, him just liking you is not a wrong thing in itself (the unwanted touching was though, I'm not sure what you mean when you say he sd "dark things") . It sounds like he did like you as a friend but wanted something more, he did the good things but was hoping for a sexual relationship - and that's either not who are you are, or you weren't ready for it yet. This guy was a huge influence on your life in both positive and negative ways - so it's understandable that you still think about him.Are you able to see therapist or counsellor to talk about these things - someone you can trust who won't judge you - to help you sort out your feelings and help you go forward?If you are being harrassed at school and are still there - that is not a good situation either and must be addessed.I can assure that there is light at the happiness at the end of the road. Something similar happened to me when I was your age - and it was very traumatic for me as well. Pls try to focus on the people and things that make you happy and what you want from your life, and if you can, try to find a professional you can talk to about all of this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): I would move on and try and find some better friends that respect you!
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