A
female
age
26-29,
*neyesee
writes:I'm in a long distance relationship - I've been with my boyfiend for 2 and a half years, 9 months ago i moved away. We're still very much in love but i'm not happy living where i do and it's beginning to really show. When we're together - I visit every 3/4 weeks - it's amazing and it feels so perfect. But i'm really depressed living here and as soon as I return I start to feel really low. My boyfriend is a great guy at heart, but he's started doing weed when he goes out, he promised me he'd stop as he knows I don't agree with it, but I'm not 100% sure he has. He's done a few stupid things since Ive moved,including kissing another girl while drunk, and I can't help but feel he's taking advantage of me not being around and doing his own thing. I know he finds it hard when m not there and that's the probable cause of these silly actions. But he's cold with me when I'm unhappy, I can see why, It can't be easy for him either. I need to feel loved when we're apart though, not just when we're together. We've talked about this several times, and now I'm stuck as to what to do next. I love this guy to pieces and he loves me too, neither of us want to break up, but we need a way to make us both happy and to take the strain off. Either of us moving isn't an option for at least the next year. Couls I please have some advice as to how we can make our relationship a happy and healthy one all the time? Thank you.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 June 2010):
 If what you need to be happy is to be together then you need to get together. As that appears to not be an option, the only thing left is to leave. And say, if it is true love and meant to be, you will find your way back to each other after this year or so has passed.
Being with him while far away is killing you. You also said you have started to question his reaction to the distance, that he is acting cold and is living his own life, doing drugs, kissing other girls... This is not a good situation.
Long distance is never easy, but some people can do it, others can not. You are unhappy. That alone is all you need to know that you are not one of the people who can deal with a long distance relationship.
What is worst/best? Giving up what you are doing now and moving back to him, or giving up him? It is a tough choice to make, but one year down the line, with things going like this, how wounded and emotionally hurt will you be? What kind of relationship do you have then? The relationship is hurting you.
A
female
reader, eneyesee +, writes (29 June 2010):
eneyesee is verified as being by the original poster of the question sorry, my age is wrong! It should be 16/17
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A
female
reader, eneyesee +, writes (29 June 2010):
eneyesee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry, my age is wrong!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): People grow emotionally apart when they have been living near but one moved away, it's just a change and I think you might just have to embrace it, your only young so you should be out with friends! I don't know how you feel about this guy but I assume you really like him, if you do want to keep things going you might just have loosen your controls a little, just let him do what he wants within reason obviously
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