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female
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anonymous
writes:hope someone can help. basically ive been with my bf only just over 3 months now. im 19 and hes 22. at first when we had sex it was great and never had a problem appart from when he went too deep it hurt but all in all it felt nice and normal. now however i never want sex... im never in the mood and when we do i dont feel anything and it just hurts. i dont know whether thats because im doing it just for the sake of it to keep him happy or what. my bf also always wants sex and always tries trning me on which i get bored with cause hes always just handing it to me on a plate. also im a bit stressed, anxious cause all my friends are off to uni and im just finding a job to pay my bills. so maybe that could be the cause of my loss of sex drive. it worries me cause i think that i have something wrong with me down below inside me or something thats making me not want it..... im scared to finger myself(sorry to be crude) just incase i feel something abnormal lke a blockage and thats why it hurts during sex? my boyfriend says that he cant feel anything there that shouldnt be and not to worry. im about to go on holiday with my family for two weeks so hopefully that will help me calm down and stop me worrying. what do you think is going on??
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your replies. They really helped. No im not on anti depressants or anything like that.
I feel fine within myself when i'm out with my friends....i think when im away ill think about my relationship. If we didnt work out ive decided to go to college and hopefully uni. I dont want a realtionship holding me back.
Thanks again x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): Hey believe me, im in the same boat as you are.. and i've cried to my gyno because of it actually.. just cuz its a subject that i get very emotional over...I've been in 2 long lasting relationships.. the first went well, until just after 6 months i started losing any type of sex drive that i had had before.. i thought it was him really.. i never experienced an orgasm from sex or anything.. sex to me meant nothing but acting like a doll just to make him happy.. i ended up breaking up with that guy bc i basically lost all interest in him. Then i met my boyfriend whom i with right now, and sex was good at first.. of course i felt nothing during it- no good feeling, no closeness to oragasm or anything but still it was fun.. and sure enough- after about 3 months.. i started just not wanting to do it. i have no libido whatsoever.. i seriously felt like i cud go without sex for like.. years. and i cried all the time!!! cause by boyfriend thought it was him.. and i had to explain that no, it was me.. there was something wrong with me..still to this day i havent figured out what to do.. ive tried the creams and all that acrap. its all useless, i even almost resulted to seeing a sex therapist.. but i just cnt seem to rele bring myself to it. idk, i just thought id let you know that your not alone!!!!!!! believe me...
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male
reader, jaimeamour22  +, writes (13 September 2007):
hi sex with someone is always great at the start if your really into them , but i think when you loose that lustre the sex dies too , sex is not everything maybe he is not for you , unless your taking prozac or something . a herbal remedie for low sex drive is ginsing but maybe he just aint the one ... do you really love him or is it just a comfort thing being in a relationship ? you know the answers ... just keep faith in you xxx jaime
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (13 September 2007):
 Hi
I assume your not on any anti depressant meds at the mo? They can kill labido. I will assume you're not.
More than likely what you said. Stress at the moment. Sex is the first thing to go out the window when stress rears its ugly head. Also if its hurting that will put you right off. AND the fact you feel a bit like a sex object at the moment by the sounds of it. I might be reading between some lines there but ive been in a similar situation myself and im sure they dont mean for it to come across like that, but sometimes it just plain turns you off when they assume they are getting it every night and just start pawing you. Its ok to want to go straight to sleep sometimes if you are tired! It annoys me a bit that some guys think their sexual needs should be met whenver they click their fingers.
OR you're not quite so into him as you previously thought? Is that possible?
The holiday will be a very good thing i think. The timing is perfect and might well make a few things come clearer for you!
Good luck.
C xxxx
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