A
male
age
41-50,
*k45cal
writes:I am trying to figure what went wrong in my recent engagement. I have been with this woman for about a year. We both fell in love and were engaged recently. The engagement was something she wanted. Before we were engaged she was excited about planning a life together and we both were making all the right steps in that direction.After the engagement she began to back away from me and I knew that something was wrong. She has a long history of terrible men in her past that have done everything dirty you can think of. It seems like every man has lied and cheated on her, thus causing trust and commitment issues. We began to split as that she stated that she had no idea how many issues she had until we were engaged. She realized that she was not in the right frame of mind to be a wife. We fought and fought the break up. She even started counseling to try and conquer some of the issues. The counselor basically felt she needed to be alone. We have finally called the wedding off and have split up, based on the those reason. Initially I thought there was another man, but this has proved to not be the case.We still talk almost daily (she calls me). I know that she misses me and tells me she still Loves me. At this point I am trying to figure what to do. I love this woman and dont want to move on as that I am still hoping to get back together in future. I am angry, hurt and most of all confused. What do I need to do
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broke up, engaged, fell in love, get back together, her past, move on, split up, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (14 September 2007):
Keep on dating her. Tell her to let you know if she feels ready to comitt. If she's not coming around within 6 months start looking for a girl without the problems.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): ok, you just described my relationship with my ex-fiance, except i was pushing him away like your fiance, but in the end he dumped me. It was only then i realised how much i loved him, unfortunately. the thing is what i really wanted was for him to push through the balls i had around me and prove he really honestly loved me and wanted me, but i didnt tell him that because i was too afraid. Ive been hurt in the past and it destoyed my relationship with a man i could have had a future with, i man i loved(still love!!). so wait for her, not forever, i mean you cant put your life on hold forever, but just wait, give her space, be there for her when she needs you, and maybe when she has sorted out her issuses she'll come back to you.
but give her a chance... thats just my opinion and advice. you dont have to take it, and it isnt neccessarily how she's feeling but i thought i'd give you the benifit of my experience...
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