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Suddenly , 4months into our relationship, he now lets me know that he has a child!!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 June 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 7 June 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Okay Im in a four month relationship. I am 20 years old. I found old yesterday my boyfriend has a five year old child. I am blown away by this and devastated. I feel too young to be with someone who has baggage but I also feel tricked that he waited till feelings were involved to tell me. To be honest Im more upset by the fact there's someone in his life who is more important than me and I have nothing to do with this person. You cannot compete with a child and I would not want to. I don't know what I should do? we are on a break now but it is not just this, he has lied to me before about things and Im wondering wherever I should just cut my ties and just end it now?

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A male reader, serenity80 United Kingdom +, writes (7 June 2010):

End it and go on a holiday with the girls for the summer. Some lying guy with a kid will soon be the distant past.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (7 June 2010):

chigirl agony auntEverything points to the direction that you do not want to be with him. I agree it was a lousy thing to do, waiting for this long before he told you the truth. He was scared that you will leave him if you knew about his son, and was probably hoping that by now your relationship was strong enough to handle it. But he forgot that honesty is important, and that he should have been upfront and honest with you from day 1.

You do not want to be involved with a man with a child. And if he had told you from day 1 he had a kid, would you have entered a relationship with him? If not then say goodbye. Do you have hopes and plans for a family of your own in the future, without kids from previous relationships? Then say goodbye to this man.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (7 June 2010):

Miamine agony auntYou are young, you don't want a man burdened by children, end this relationship now before it gets any more serious.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (7 June 2010):

I can understand him being reluctant to admit he has a child so quickly. But there are other lies as well, and to be taking a break 4 months into it really is a bad thing. End it now and move on.

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A female reader, Sincerely Yours United States +, writes (7 June 2010):

Sincerely Yours agony auntI wouldn't trust him. If it were just the child, then I could understand his fear of telling you, not that I would condone the lie. But if he has lied to you several times before and it's only been four months... eeeehhhhh slippery slope. A relaitonship built on lies will take more work then you currently realize to fix. Maybe he's worth it to you. That's for you to decide.

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