A
male
age
30-35,
*osherSmoker
writes:Okay everyone, I need help. See I'm pretty young, and I've never been a person to let my emotions get the best of me. So recently I started liking someone after about two years, and through therapy. This person I liked was a GUY! Yes shocker. Everyday after I began to like him I began to to hate myself deeply. It began to ruin my life. I debated with myself and told my closest friends, and asked for their help. So today my friend told him my feelings, and it turned out the way I thought: He didn't like me back. This fact hurt me (even though I already knew it). I am left with a broken heart. But he said we could still be friends, and stuff. So what do I do from here fellow members.
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male
reader, grubbyduckling  +, writes (10 June 2010):
Rejection is unfortunately a part of life. Believe me, being gay, many gay men have experienced the one-sided crush on their straight friend; it happens.
As another reader mentioned, if he's still willing to be your friend (as some still suffer from homophobia), that's really the best you can ask for. The question is, can you move past your feelings for him and become stronger friends? You'll have to be firm with yourself and seriously understand that there isn't any chance with him. BUT...There are lots, and lots of guys out there who are looking for a loving partner to return their affections. Keep looking!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): Since he know how you feel and still hold on with your friendships, i think it's good for you. Not to mention he's ok with making friends with homosexual. He rejected you, so what! Move on with your life and i bet there is other relationship worth waiting for you. Chill ok ..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): I'm sorry to hear things didn't work out as you would have liked. It must be quite an upsetting time for you, especially as it was such a big thing for you to discover you liked a guy.
First, I think you need to try and stop giving yourself such a hard time! You said you started to hate yourself when you realised you had feelings for this guy. Why is that? Because he is a guy? Because it hurt to have feelings for someone else, and not know if they like you back?
There is nothing wrong with liking people of the same sex. So although it must have been a surprising discovery for you, it is no reason to hate yourself. All that is required is acceptance for who you are, and that can be difficult. But once you start to believe your feelings are perfectly fine, it becomes easier.
From what I can see, it sounds like you made some big steps forward, even if it may not seem that way. You were open with your friends, and asked for their help. It must have been difficult to do that, yet you did it. So that is a positive thing in my opinion.
As for this guy not liking you back, it does hurt, I know. Whether you stay friends or not depends on you. If you think you would be okay just being friends, then that is an option. But if you think it might be too painful, then it might be best to try and distance yourself from him if possible. Although it has made you feel down, him not liking you in that way is not a negative reflection on you. It is just how things sometimes are. There is nothing wrong or lacking in you. This guy is just simply not the right person.
I think everyone experiences this sometimes. I know I have! I was once very much interested in someone, and when we finally started talking, it became apparent he didn't like me back. I was crushed, really upset for a while. I thought it was me, and that I was just not loveable or something. But it got better with time, and it will get better for you. You just have to keep going, and believe that there will be other chances in the future.
I know it is difficult at first, but I believe you can get through this...take care. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): I'm a girl and 2 years back I began to like a girl, and yeah, although I already knewthat she didn't like me, when I told her, she slapped me and said I was a freak, broken heart.
All I can say is think there will be tons and tons of people that will love you back, you never know you could fall in love with a girl and she will think your the greatest thing ever or it could be another guy, you never no.
I'm now with the love of my life, she's brillant!
And I couldn't care less about the other girl, think, you're much better than them! And don't forget you ARE LOVEABLE!
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