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writes: I have recently split with my gay boyfriend, 21, after six months together.I am 33 and found out at the weekend that he has left me for his best friend who is 37.This man has just separated from his wife after 13 years of marriage and has two young kids. I have been left rocked by this news as I cannot believe this new relationship will ever work for my ex.I have tried to warn him about dating a friend but he just won’t listen. I cant believe this has happened but at the same time truly believe that my ex has got what he deserves. I can only forsee agony for him, as one this relationship ends he will lose the friendship he once had with this man. I am also stunned as I recently met up with my ex who told me that he had slept with someone in Brighton. How can he possibly love this new man when he has done that? I suppose I am best out of it. Anyone out there had similar experiences? I truly loved my boyfriend and he did with me, he constantly told me so but suddenly went cold after New Year and he now tells me he is not into me in anyway at all. I have found it all very difficult to understand.
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female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (15 March 2006):
 You are better out of the relationship as you well know, it would not surprise me if he went cool after new year because he was eithe sleeping with someone else or working up to it.
Sounds like he is not fully over his wife either and may not be fully sure of his sexuality or maybe he is now sure and want to have lots of male sex and just cannot commit to anyone just now.
He will hurt his friend and in doing so will hurt himself what you have to decide is if you want to continue being his friend or if you want to wash your hands of him completely.
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female
reader, juliagulia +, writes (15 March 2006):
 Well, I can certainly understand your surprise over what has happened. I would be hurt, too, if my boyfriend left me for his best friend. But, you are right, you are "best out of it" and I think the only thing you can do is move on. I know it may help you a little to gloat on the inevitable demise of his new relationship, but try your best not to dwell in negativity. Just say to yourself "It is his loss - I deserve to be treated better" and after a while, it will become your mantra. You do deserve better, and I am sure you will meet someone a little more mature who is ready to have a committed relationship with you. This guy just sounds young and immature -- not sure what he wants out of life yet. Good luck!
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female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (15 March 2006):
 Its understandable that you are hurt that your relationship has ended and seems you were not given an adequate explaination as to why, which has left you wondering what you did wrong....probably nothing!If you boyfriend left you for his friend and they are a similar age maybe he felt they had more in common, but you are right in assuming his relationship will not go far if he has already slept with someone else. Can you be sure he remained faithful to you? He seems a fickle character and as you said yourself you are better off without him and the hurt he was likely to cause you.You are a young man with your life ahead of you, move on, put this down to experience and be thankful for a lucky escape! Good luck.
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