A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with a girl who has a boyfriend. I know a lot of people are in my situation but I have been stuck in the 'just friend' zone with this girl for the past year. She likes talking to me and admits it, because her boyfriend doesn't listen to her. She rants about her boyfriend so much and has so many reasons to break up with him (i.e. cheating on her), but the only thing that has come of this is him not trusting her and wanting to break up with HER for no reason.Last summer, I told her how much I liked her and all she said was 'I understand' and kind of distanced herself. We eventually became close friends but that's all. She admitted one night that she did like me back and then countered herself the next morning saying she was confused and didn't know what she was saying the night before.I feel like I'm being used as a person that she can just vent about her boyfriend and that's it. What do I do - stop trying or keep fighting?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): Here's where so many friend-zone guys go wrong: you keep talking to her all the time.
She should be getting that kind of interaction from her BF. If you supply it, she'll be more free to stay with a guy that is less prone to treating her well. She'll just rely on you more and more, but all the sex & affection is gonna keep right on landing on the other guy while you do his work for him.
Don't cut her off so abruptly to be hurtful to this girl, but don't continue serving as her emotional crutch either. Get on with your life, get other girls, and act like you are TOTALLY past having romantic feelings about her. Even if you're not.
A
male
reader, Wulfgrimm +, writes (23 June 2008):
The best way in some cases to keep fighting is to stop. About the only way you can get out of the friend zone is to distance yourself. Stop talking to her as much, don't hangout hardly at all. When you do hang out if you can, try and do it with other people not just her. The point is if she does have feelings for you, then she will come to you. If she doesn't then it wont matter because you have already broken most of the contact so it will not hurt you as much.
Good Luck bro,
-Cris
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