A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:HiI've been with my Girlfriend for 4 years.She has started to really grind on me.*She rings me 5 times a day to talk rubbish (e.g a person in the supermarket just annoyed her).If she rings and i dont answer she'll ring back straight away and carry on ring me untill i answer the phone*Im not allowed on Facebook or Myspace, because she thinks im going to message girls on it, i did open one and she fell out with me for a week.*Im not allowed to go out with my friends(who are single) at the weekends, so i have to go round her house all weekend otherwise she will get upset.She said that the girls will look at me and thinks that i go off with one of them (trust eh).I've offered for her to come out with my friends but she doesn't like them.I've just finished my 3 years at University and I asked her yesterday if i could go on holiday with my friends and she said no for the same reasons as above.*When i was doing my final year project she used to ring me up asking what i was doing (she knew i was doing uni work), if i turned my phone off she would ring the house phone, if unplugged that she would ring my brother or my parents.I once asked her if we should go on a break and she started crying and wouldn't let me leave her house.I don't really want to end the relationship because i love her, but is there anyway to get to her to stop being annoying. Most of the time she says she'll change and she will for about 2 weeks then it will all go back to how it was.Has anyone got any ideas?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): Vow, you have a lot of PATIENCE; most guys whould have 'posted" her long ago; okay so you love her; I understand BUT that does not mean you are her PRISONER;
I suggest you have a very serious talk to her; she needs to do something about her INSECURITIES; you have been together for 4 years and she is still behaving like this; it is obvious she has issues, TRUST one of them;
She should pay RESPECT to your needs and take that inconsideration too; everthing cannot be just her way; she seems very selfish to say the least;
If this girl will not get some help, I doubt if she will change her ways;
However, you should not tolerate this;
give her a very serious talk; and if she does not get some help and make some serious change; Vow, I know you are going to hate this, but: MOVE ON
Surely you do not want to spend the rest of your life in a relationship like this? (A Prison)?
No trust, no respect for your needs or wants?
Remember Love alone is not enough to make a relationship work.
Be strong, have the chat!
Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): why are you letting her control your life like that she`s more like your mum than girlfriend,seems you dont talk or discuss issues thats why she`s insecure,get talking and you may just see a improvement
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (23 June 2008):
 Give her an ultimatum. She either stops pestering you to find out where you are all day long or she wont ever know because you will be gone. You cannot let her control you like this it isnt fair and will destroy you eventually as a couple. Trust me she will only get worse if you got married where she has you all to herself.
You may love her but there has to be trust both ways and give and take. Seems to me she is the one doing all the taking and you all the giving. Ask yourself if you truly want to spend the rest of your life with her like this is she isnt willing to change (or able to) x
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A
female
reader, accused  +, writes (23 June 2008):
 Sounds to me like this woman is a "CONTROL FREAK" and has trust issues! I noticed in your post that you used words like "she won't let me" and you asked her if you could go with your friends and she said no! What is she your GF or your Mother? This woman is controlling every part of your life, and if you don't get a grip on her now, this will be your life with her. If she constantly rings your phone to tell you something so pointless as someone annoying her, then she needs a "HOBBY" or a "FRIEND".... You need to have a serious talk with her and explain that your a grown man, and don't need permisson to go out with your friends, open a my space page, or anything else for that matter. You need to stand up for yourself and understand that your not a victim, your a "Volunteer"! No one can treat you this way, unless you let them... As far as she calls your parents & brother you need to stop that as well. Explain to her that once again your grown, and you don't want her calling your family to see why you don't answer the phone. Explain to her that you are not responsible for her happiness, your just a small part of it. If SHE can't make herself happy then how can you? Best of luck, Keep me posted......
Accused
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