A
female
age
41-50,
*appytobeblue
writes:Hi everyone, I am having some problems with a male friend. It is a platonic relationship, but there is definitely chemistry...The way this began... I moved to a new neighborhood in NY in August and, within a couple of weeks, became friendly with a neighbor. I don't see him on the street very often, but we eventually exchanged numbers and hang out every so often. Since we first went out in November, we have gone out four times. I feel like there is hope because men do not become friends with random women outside of their social network. It just doesn't happen. Maybe I am just looking for signs because I like him, but there seem to be mixed signals. He always insists on paying for meals or drinks with varying excuses. When we spend time together it is always just the two of us (versus him inviting his roommate along). I really enjoy our time together and could see this becoming something long term. My frustration is that after going out for 4 months nothing (ahem) has happened between us. (Seriously. Not even a kiss!) I really like him, but am afraid I am setting myself up to get hurt. This is partially my own fault - the first time we went out there was an awkward moment when we parted ways (to kiss or not to kiss) and I was stupid. If I could only go back. . . Anyway, my question is if it is too late? I am pretty flirtatious with him, but he doesn't seem to be getting the point. Is it a bad idea to just tell him how I feel? (So awkward!!) Thanks for reading - sorry for the novel!
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exchanged numbers, flirt, roommate Reply to this Question
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female
reader, happytobeblue +, writes (7 March 2009):
happytobeblue is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the kind words and wonderful advice. I definitely have a better outlook on the situation, as well as serious determination now!! I'll be sure to stop back and let everyone know what happens.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (7 March 2009):
 Have you made it known that you're interested in him?
One more thing, for my own sake: does it bother you if the man pays the meals and drinks? I think I just fell for you!
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A
male
reader, dddddddd  +, writes (7 March 2009):
Well maybe he isn't seeing your hints. He probably just remembers that awkward moment so thinks you don't want to. Kissing him might be a stronger hint.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009): It's Never too late! It's 2009, Not 1909! Where does it say that a woman can't intitiate a kiss? Maybe he is just trying to take it slow. Maybe he doesn't want to appear to anxious.
Go for it! Fear of getting hurt can cripple you! What do you think would happen if you kissed him? Do you think he'd run away screaming? Probably not!
You are building a great foundation for a healthy relationship! As long as he's not gay...you have a shot at something good! Don't give up!
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