A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I apologize for the long post, but I have a few relationship problems that I am seeking some help with. First of all, I love my girlfriend very much and moved out of my home state to be with her. She is very sweet and compassionate, but she seems obsessive over me. We are actually living with her parents right now, and spend every single day together. Before we were together in person, we spent every day talking on the phone for hours. The only time that we aren't together is when I am at work, and the second I get home, she talks about how much she missed me and hates when I have to work. She doesn't have a job. Now this is one of the problems. I enjoy having my own time and doing my own things. I have a few hobbies that I enjoy, mostly art related things, which cost money, but doesn't everything? She has no hobbies, and spends most of her time sleeping, or on the computer. She wants to spend every second together, but doesn't want to do anything. We end up spending hours on our own computers, doing nothing. Or we lay in bed, doing nothing. I have hobbies and things that I enjoy doing and practicing, but she doesn't give me time for that. She always wants to be near me, and won't let me do any of my own things. Even when I do get the chance do something hobby related, she sits there in the room, bored and waiting for me to get done. I tried to help her find a hobby, but she is just unwilling to do anything. She also doesn't want me to spend any of my money on my hobbies. It's like she doesn't want me to do anything, and would rather that I sit there, doing nothing, and bored out of my mind with her. Another problem is with our living arrangements. I know that her parents do not want me living in their spare room forever, so I want to find somewhere to live. I have found a job when I moved here, so I have money, but not enough for my own apartment. She is unwilling to find a job, so we would be unable to afford our own place on my paychecks alone anyway. I however got an offer from a coworker to be his roommate and split the cost of an apartment. Now this apartment is VERY close to my girlfriend's house. Not far at all. My girlfriend could walk there if she wanted. When I told her about the offer and said that I was going to check out the apartment, she got so upset. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong for the longest time. Then she told me that it's like I don't want to live with her anymore. That is not at all the case, and if she would get a job, I would happily get an apartment with her. I even told her that she could practically live there with us, but she was upset about it for most of the day, and I had to tell her that I wouldn't move out in order to cheer her up. I cannot live in this house forever, and I feel that I am a burden to her parents. It seems that my girlfriend just wants to stay here, jobless, and sitting stagnant, doing nothing for the rest of our lives. She doesn't want me spending money on my hobbies, going anywhere without her, getting an apartment, going to work, and she never wants to go out to do anything. I try to ask her and find out what she wants to do each day, but she never seems to know, and we always end up wasting hours upon hours doing absolutely nothing. And when she tells me to decide what to do for the day, and I decide to go out someplace such as a store, she is just bored, and makes sure to show it. I just don't know what to do and I feel so trapped. I need to be creative with my hobbies and get out to do things. I cannot just sit in this room doing nothing every second that I am not at work. I try to talk to her about everything, including most of this, but I cannot get through! Please help me!
View related questions:
at work, co-worker, money, moved out, roommate, trapped Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (27 May 2009):
 just do it move out if she gets upset well she knows what to do.
she can easily get a job or something.
seems like she just wants to be a lady of leisure but not in her own home.
just move into an appartment with your mate.
i mean surely her parents don't want her living there forever as well?
do they not say anythin to her about getting a job?
does she not pay her rent or anything?
the parents need to step in here and get her to see she needs to get a job and stop relying on you for financial purposes seems like she doesn't want you to spend money so she knows you've got some there for like her parents and to support you both.
which is unfair on you.
you've got a life she needs to get one to!!
|
