A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Good Morning all.well here it goes last night i met up with a guy we'd been texting and talking to eachother alot recently and i ended up really liking him and he did me.so we met up last night and went for a drive the thing was i am quite shy when it comes to these things and i've never been kissed properly and i do get really shy when things like that occur i just can't bring myself to do it i knw you probably think well stop being shy blah blah blah but the thing is i know so many of you say you can't do it wrong if he likes you enough it won't matter but then i think to myself well if you can't do it wrong then why do guys say she's a crap kisser or girls same he's a rubbish kisser?that's what bothers me if i mess it up...anyways he told me he wanted to kiss me and asked what i'd do i said probably pull away because i just can't bring myself to do it.i know i NEED to get over that fear but i think i just know they aren't the one and when i know it is i'll just do it without a care like.anyways so i met him last night and because i was aware of what he said i was too shy to make eye contact i did now and again but not too long because i was afraid the moment would lead to the kiss, also we had like nothin to talk about now i'm an easy going person i can get on with people of all ages not a problem for me at all but we literally couldn't keep a conversation going so we went home and honestly i felt rubbish i felt really tired and had a really bad headache but anyways i dropped him off he kissed my cheek goodbye i felt really crap because i know it went badly he then text and saying sorry i bored you so much in which i replied it wasn't that just we didn't have much in common (IF anything) then he asked me to be honest with him so i was i told him i did like him but we like had zero conversation and he just went mad at me just saying i made him feel like a right mug and that my feelings were lies!i told him that they were not lies which they aren't just there was no conversation that flowed more questions and answers.i feel really bad about this and he said i've p****d him off and he was hurt but he asked me to be honest with him in which i was because he can't honestly say we had a good conversation because we literally never talked about anything! it was a question and answer round, things he liked i didn't really like and things i liked he just ddin't like or get because im a random person and love really literally everything and anything but i felt no connection.Did i do something wrong here?is this really all my fault?i mean he asked me to be honest right and i was honest with him in saying we just have nothing in common or was i meant to lie to him?(which i wouldn't do because it's unfair)Please help me i feel really utterly confused and lost.Thank you.x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009): Don't beat yourself up to much about it, all you've done is dented his ego coz he thought he was getting one thing. But if he's not the right one then he's not the right one. You've got to do whats best for you.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 May 2009):
Yes you hurt him because he obviously wanted more, but by you saying you have nothing in common and that you wouldn't be able to bring yourself to kiss him.... well that is a pretty clear rejection.
If you don't click then you don't click. Sad but true.
You let him go and he'll be ok in the long run.
As for your fear of kissing well I think since you are clearly worried about what other people think about you you have to find someone and tell them that you are really self conscious that they will go and talk about you being bad.
Then for your first kiss, just give him a little kiss, like a smooch if you know what I mean... a 99% mouth closed kiss.
Once you have done that for a while then the rest won't seem too scary and you can get into it slowly.
If you find a nice guy and open up about your fear of kissing then I am sure he will be happy to take you through it slowly. It can be quite a turn on for a guy to get a girl to open up and blossom.
Good Luck!! xx
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