A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I hate my boyfriend more and more each day. I dont know why I am with him. maybe its because I dont want to be a mom who has men in and out of my daughters life. but then again he isnt her father and it isnt really fair to subject her to him. I hate myself more and more the longer i am with him. Everyone says they love me but hate him. It has gotten to the point where I have no friends AT ALL cause they cant stand him. They all say the same thing, call when he's gone. I hate it. I am alone 3000 miles away from my family, there is no one to help me. I cant go home for a month or two while I get back on my feet. this sucks I want out but for all of those who have been in this same situation or similar know how hard it is to leave. Its even starting to get physical. he is nothing but an alcoholic, I wish there was a simple answer and a clear path out.
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female
reader, lilmisse2424 +, writes (1 April 2008):
 Hi there,
I am sorry to hear that things are not going well. The situation from what I understand it to be is not a good one. The fact that your boyfriend is an alcoholic is not good especially since he is a father to your daughter, and it is not a good environment for her.
There also has to be some reason why your boyfriend drinks so much. Maybe he has a lot of stress or has something that is bothering him that alcohol is the only way to ease it for him. So, maybe if you sit down with your boyfriend and talk it out and have him admit that he has a problem, then from there you can try to work something out. Tell him that his drinking is making you hate him and lose friends. Also tell him that he is not being a good father by drinking so much. But my best solution is to have him enroll into AA meetings.
If it turns out that he will not admit why he's an alcoholic, then you have to leave him. It will be tough, but you have to stay strong and raise your daughter alone. By doing so, you are saving yourself and your daughter from a possible dangerous and abusive living situation. If so the drinking continues and he is not willing to admit to why he's drinking so heavily, what I have suggested in this paragraph is your best answer, which is what some of the people here have given you.
I would also read the other people's advices as well because they are also as good. I hope you make the right choice. Choose wisely, and Best Wishes!!!
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 April 2008):
 Here's the link, it should help you find a meeting, hopefully tonight, and I think you can take your daughter if you don't have childcare handy. I'm not sure about that, but why wait?
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
Good luck, and stay strong. Don't let yourself lose everyone else close to you trying to prop up a man who needs to get his own help.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 April 2008):
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Get yourself to an Al-Anon meeting right away. There should be one near you, and they are probably in the phone book. I'll look up the link for you and post it in just a few minutes.
It is an organization for people who have a family member or friend who is an alcoholic; there should be lots of support for you there and you may be able to get some immediate help for yourself and your daughter.
I'll be right back, don't go anywhere or despair; you are not alone with your situation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): You need to get you and your daughter out of this situation for both your and her safety.
I don't know what agencies there are in the US that can help you make the move, but maybe some of the other aunts over there can point you in the right direction as far as that is concerned.
Bringing up a child in the home of an alcoholic is not good. Remember though, that this is a disease as well as an addiction - a very nasty one at that - and if he so desires there's medical help available.
First he has to admit to himself that he has a problem, and it's likely that won't happen until the day he wakes up in hospital being told that if he takes another drink it'll kill him, or a similar situation where he finds himself in the gutter one morning penniless and alone in the world. There's no reason why you should allow yourself to be dragged down with him, and trust me, that will happen if you stay with him.
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A
female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x  +, writes (1 April 2008):
 Leave him. If he's getting violent and physical, leave him as soon as you can. This is also a danger to your daughter. What if he turns on her? He's even ruining your social life with friends! This isn't right. You may need a bit of help when you leave him, but you'll be a lot happier, and you'll find someone to appreciate you and stay for good. Leave him for your and your daughter's safety.Wishing you the best.xx
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