A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Should my boyfriend/husband be going to the strip club?It seems to be a common question women have. But my question is about frequency, is it really acceptable for a man in a committed relationship to go to the strip club not every now and then (which I am not fond of the idea but what the hey once or twice a year nbd).......but every week?I mean every Thursday and/or sometimes Fridays too.I know before he met me this was his ritual after his meetings (NA) it is what his buddies and he would do, but he is no longer single. I am 2 months from uprooting my life and moving to be with him, and every week its the same thing. "I swear baby I'm not going to go anymore because I know you don't like it." Tonight his line was it will be the last time because the bar is shutting down, and I will admit I kinda (ok I really) flipped out on him. We are currently in different states and our only connection is over the phone and skype. It really upset me that he thought it was acceptable to go, after telling me last week he wasn't going to anymore,just because the place is shutting down.....good riddance I say. Between being a full time student, and his busy social life on a regular day I may get to talk to him collectively for 30 mins.I feel like a real big B for yelling at him tonight but the truth be told he was acting like hanging with his buddies and naked boobs were more important than things we needed to discuss about my BIG move. It really hit the last nerve I had left when it comes to him going out with his friends one who is single and another that omits to his wife where he is at every Thur/Fri night. In turn it also makes it hard for me to have a desire to ever meet either one of his "bad influence" friends. I have no shred of respect for a married man that frequents the "titty bar" every week. I don't care what his single friend does, I really don't really care what his married friend does. I have told him countless times I don't approve of him going all the time no matter how much he does or does not spend. Furthermore I am tired of being told "baby if you were here I wouldn't be going" it does not matter where I am at, I don't approve of regular visits and he should respect my opinion on it right?!?!?!?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2014): He will always make excuses. There will always be another strip club. I don't think it's a good idea to move either. Your instincts are screaming at you not to do it.
A
female
reader, Pr3tty_in_pink86  +, writes (22 March 2014):
This isn't normal, I don't even like my bf looking at porn but this just isn't normal (my opinion) this guy sounds like a teenager or in his early twenties.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 March 2014):
He sounds pretty dreadful to me. He's probably the sort of man that women should ditch before they get too involved.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 March 2014):
 Sorry, OP I'm with Ciar 100%
If a Tittybar/strip club is shutting down another one will pop up. It's good money and people like a business that makes money. You know the saying, Sex sells...
I have lived near military installations most of my marriage (as my husband served in the Army) and Tittybars would open and close like the lid on a trashcan. As soon as one place were put on the "OFF LIMITS for SOLDIERS" list, they would shut down, rename, toss a fresh coat of paint on it and open RIGHT back up.
This isn't about you. It's about HIS lack of respect for you and (if you ask me women in general) I mean serious watching desperate women take their clothes of for money, constitute a great night out with buddies? And this is a WEEKLY thing?
YOU have express how you feel about this and what does he do? HE BLAMES it on you. Oh, I'm only going because YOU are not here.. Seriously? You think that is at all a good excuse?
Want to bet, that ONCE you are there he will STILL go hang out with his friends and if THEY want to go to a Tittybar, do you think he will say:" Oh no, the little lady at home don't like that I better head home?"
His priorities are his friend, fun... then you.
Are you really sure you want to MAKE this move?
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (22 March 2014):
 Please do yourself a big favour and do not relocate. This guy just isn't worth the trouble and sacrifice.
How often is too often depends upon the people involved. Personally I think it's a bit over the top, and clearly it's too much for you. Your boyfriend has little to offer you to but lonely days and trite assurances. He'd be visiting strip clubs whether you were there or not.
Your boyfriend just isn't up to snuff I'm afraid. Stay where you are and you'll be happier.
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