A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 21 and I've had next to no experience with guys (no kiss, no boyfriend, no dating). I have high standards but not too high; unfortunately the guys I've met except a couple, I really had no interest in. They either had a bad personality, or I didn't really click with them. And unfortunately the two guys I liked (yes only 2) were either a bit too old (like 10 years older), or they were unavailable. The thing is that the older I get, the more concerned that maybe something is wrong with me. Sometimes I feel like I'm invisible and unattractive because no guy wants me and I rarely like anyone, but one of my guy friends told me recently that I am single by choice, and there were probably many dudes who wanted to get close to me, but they were too afraid because I was uninterested and oblivious. I believe the uninterested/oblivious part, but not the other part, I don't feel like I'm attractive enough. And I don't want to bother dating anyone if I don't like their personality or am not attracted to them. Honestly I'm so confused and I don't know what to do. What is wrong with me? How should I change my ways? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Blod  +, writes (22 March 2014):
 I doubt there's anything 'wrong' with you, and there's certainly nothing wrong with being picky about guys. I absolutely agree with your friend. If you wanted a boyfriend, I'm sure you'd be surprised at how easy it is to get one. But whether you're happy with that person is a different matter, which is why your choosiness isn't a bad thing. One day, I'm sure you'll meet someone that's right for you so, personally, I wouldn't be too concerned with changing your ways. There's nothing wrong with it.
It might sound obvious but, when it comes to meeting someone, I think the best thing to do is to just get out there. Be sociable and talk to people - that's how you'll find out whether you click with someone or not. And the more people you talk to, the more likely you are to find the right person and it should do wonders to your confidence too.
So I'm sorry if it's not very helpful but my advice is: don't change. If you're true to yourself then there's no such as thing as having 'something wrong' with you. And there's so so so much more than attractiveness, which probably isn't an issue for you anyway! Just chill out and be yourself.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 March 2014):
 Do you have friends? (female friends) IF you do, I'd honestly ask them and NOT take what they say personal.
The fact that YOU see yourself as being "wrong" somehow for not having met anyone "worth your while" to date. I met my first BF at almost 19. I wasn't exactly picky I just didn't met someone I clicked with in a romantic way.
Instead of thinking there is something wrong with you, I think it's more down the line that you don't spend much time socializing (and I don't mean JUST going to clubs) but in general.
Are you in any clubs, classes, groups, sports? Do you work? or go to school? Are you involved outside of your immediate circle? If not, I would look into that. Find something you are passionate about, or just plain enjoy, met new people and let the "I WANT a BF" go on the back burner a little.
Live life.
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