A
female
age
41-50,
*ELE82083
writes:How can i get my fiance to stop masturbating because it affects our sex life. Either he can't finish which makes me feel horrible or he has no desire because he has already satisfied himself. We have talked about it and I don't get mad or angry with him but I let him know that it hurts me and thats the only problem I have with our relationship. Every thing else is minor and dealable. He always says he will stop because he sees how it hurts me but he can't. What can I do
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fiance, no desire, sex life Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CELE82083 +, writes (22 December 2008):
CELE82083 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBefore we bought our house we lived with his mother where he couldn't masterbate and we had sex almost every day and he was able to finish. He acknowledges the problem is that he masterbates because when he doesnt do it for awhile everything is fine. I wouldnt care that he did it but when it affects us the way it does it really bothers me. Someone told me that something might have happend to him when he was younger. Could that be it?
A
female
reader, Annieapple  +, writes (22 December 2008):
Masturbation is perfectly normal! It doesn't stop you feeling sexual desire for your partner.
I think your sex life issues are due to another reason. Perhaps he is so worried about whether or not he can finish (which, to be honest would not be helped by you getting upset) that he can't. And maybe he has not desire because he doesn't want to risk upsetting you.
You should try talking to relate http://www.relate.org.uk/ about this.
But it unreasonable to expect him not to masturbate.
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A
female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (22 December 2008):
 It does Become a problem when it interfers with your sex life.I would tell him to save it for after yall had your fun and then if he couldnt would tell him he needs to seek help .you should come first and then his self play should come second or maybe you could make him see what it feels like reverse the roles and see how he likes it.. Hold Out on him dont let him have it please yourself then he will think wow Now I know how it affects her.......
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