A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am 24 years or age and i really need help and advice. i have been in love with a teacher i had in my junior school since i was 11. he left the school the same year i moved to high school but even so i cannot shift my feelings for him and the pain is unbearable. i have not seen or heard anything of him for nearly 13 years. i tried everything but cant stop loving him he is my whole life and i still think of him every second of evey day 24/7 and dream of him every night.please please can someone give me some advice. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lonelygirl11 +, writes (8 January 2011):
im orignal poster i have not had any relationships at all i have no friends and rarely go out if i do go out it is just down local with my parents for a coke as i dont smoke or drink
A
female
reader, odeer123  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 I agree with most of the below. You are inlove with an idea, not a person- the man you knew 13 years ago doesn't exist anymore, neither is the person within you the same. Everything has changed except this single strand of love for something which existed in another reality, a reality which is now passed its use-by date.Obviously, he had a great impression on you- all youth (I know by experience) are greatly impressionable.Here's something I think may help; look up 'limerence' on the net, and you should be able to research what initiated the attachment in the first place- if you know the cause, it may help with the cure.Another thing to do is to talk to someone you trust about it in person. Sharing the knowledge of your attachment may cause a lessening of enthusiasm, as these kind of feelings are often felt all the more stronger BECAUSE you keep them all pent up. Obviously you have shared your problem with us cupiders, but we can't be there to observe your behaviour or your mannerisms, in short, we don't know you, and can only help to a limit.You absolutely must must must must must get over him. You've realized by now that the way you've reacted has been very unhealthy for you- so many years with an unrequited love MUST be painful (I also know that from experience).If you happen to respond to my advice, can you let the cupiders know about current relationships? How many have you had within the past 13 years?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): hi i am the orignal question poster no i did not have a relationship with him i was only 11 when he left the school. this started around 8/9 i admired him so did whole class couldnt wait to get to his class it was when i was in his class that i developed these feelings. i know it wrong and nothing can ever happen so please dont tell me i been stupid i have bottled up these feelings since start. mam did find out she found a photo of him under my pillow and she kinda slagged me and now thinks i am over it. i just dont know what to do i did try track him down but no luck. i just want to be normal!!
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A
female
reader, Time wont let me go  +, writes (2 October 2010):
 It sounds like you had a relationship with him; you don't have to tell me but it sounds to me like you two were having sex. If so I know what its like to have a relationship with a teacher and them leaving you, but your so young and you do love them. its is ver hard to get over and i never think you really do. More of a idea to help, this works for me put everything down on paper so its out of my head,I write it down and forget about it. That way it’s not on you mind but if you need to look back and remember on one of the harder days you can look back. And why not try to get a hold of him? idk just some ideas hope they help.. Good Luck
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (26 September 2010):
 Well, I'll be honest here... I really think that you need to see a counselor and talk this out. If you are seriously thinking about him every second of every day yet you haven't seen him in 13 years? That's really not healthy... it sounds more like you're in love with the idea of him and you've held onto this school girl crush instead of moving on with your life.
You really shouldn't let a fantasy impede you from living your own life and I'm a little surprised you haven't tried to get help for this sooner..
How is life in general? Like have you fallen for anybody else at any point? Tried dating others? Or have you stayed fixated on your old teacher this entire time?
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