A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am torn. Completely and fully torn. I have a boyfriend his name is Rick. He and i have been dating for almost 3 months. Well recently my ex boyfriend who i never really resolved things with, his name is Jake, have started talking again. He was the first guy i ever fell totally head over heels for. I mean i was devastated when we broke up. But now he has been calling me and we talk more than me and my boyfriend and he is continuously calling me at night and he told me he loved me and that i should come visit him to cuddle... The thing is i think he is just a tease and that he wont really want to cuddle even if i do see him. But i think that there is still a part of me that is attached to him. He always says that he needs me to find him a new girlfriend and that he needs a good girl but says that i am awesome and that he loves me. Well yesterday he told me that there is a girl he knows that he thinks he wants to spend the rest of his life with but he wants to continue to get to know her. Then he started to ask me about myself. And said he wanted to know more about me. i have known this guy for 4 years... I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO.... is he talking about me? god this is so confusing. i am still in love with him and always have been. Please help me, this is tearing me up inside. Plus im talking to my boyfriend about it today so i will most likely be single. Because i feel like im lying to him without telling him about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni dont know. it is more complicated than that. I am not the type of person to just cut people off. i cant do it. I care too much about the people who mean stuff to me. Like i said i loved Jake since the moment i met him. Letting him go was one of the hardest things i have ever done. But my current boyfriend knows the situation and he is very understanding. I am not going to go back to my ex. but the temptation is still there.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 January 2010):
There is a reason you ex is an ex. It didn't work then, and it won't now. And neither will your new relationship either. If your ex truly loved and respected you, he would not be trying to steal you away, Likewise, if you loved your boyfriend you wouldn't be tempted. Cut contact with both guys and spend time on yourself finding out who you are. Don't be on a string to your ex. He'll only dump you again. But let your boyfriend go so he can find someone who does love him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): If your ex is serious about you then he would not flirt with you while you are in a relationship with someone else. Ask if if he is talking about you, if that means you want to try again with your ex. But you have to make your choice now, regardless of who your ex talked about or not. You see, you can't be the one who runs into your ex's arms the minute he decides he wants you again. And if you want to be with your ex, you can't be with your current boyfriend. So if you chose your boyfriend, that means whatever your ex will tell you, you can not go back to him. You are not a dog he can shout out "marriage" at and have you come running. He hasn't even said he was talking about you! And to be honest, I think you should trust your gut feeling about your ex: he doesn't want cuddles, he's just interested in having sex and will probably say anything to get you to come to him. But if he was for real, he would have respected the relationship you are in now! He would also not only call you at night and ask for cuddles, thats kinda sneaking around. Maybe he has a girlfriend he didn't tell you about yet too.
First loves are hard to get over. Cut all contact with him and remember there was a reason for why the relationship ended! I took my first love back whenever he decided to dump me, and that onl resulted in him continuing to dump me, want me back, dump me and want me back. No second chances is my advice to you.
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